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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27518923">A History of Pain</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkprinceofirkalla/pseuds/darkprinceofirkalla'>darkprinceofirkalla</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkprinceofirkalla/pseuds/darkprinceofirkallaRP'>darkprinceofirkallaRP (darkprinceofirkalla)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Monsterhearts World [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cthulhu Mythos - H. P. Lovecraft, LOVECRAFT H. P. - Works, Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drug Addiction, Gay Romance, Gen, Ghost Sex, Ghosts, Gloves, Hand Jobs, Horror, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Psychological Horror, Roleplay Logs, Sexual Abuse, Suicide Attempt, Supernatural Elements, ghost - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 05:07:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>28,413</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27518923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkprinceofirkalla/pseuds/darkprinceofirkalla, https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkprinceofirkalla/pseuds/darkprinceofirkallaRP</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Duncan Reese grew up in poverty, but eventually learns his life is meant for darker things. His horrific abilities make it impossible for him to have a normal life, and he somehow feels like it's all fated to end in tragedy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Monsterhearts World [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1008801</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. He is Coming</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had come to this. The hallucinations were a bit too much. He’d wanted to die. He wanted to <i>escape</i>. But instead he woke up chained to a hospital bed with his wrists bandaged so incredibly tight he’d lost some feeling in them. Or maybe that was just the loss of blood. Who really knew? But to understand how he got here, you had to understand what led up to it.</p><p>Duncan Reese was was only five years old when he had his first trauma. He was a plucky child, quiet but sweet. He loved books, he was constantly reading the whimsical tales of Dr. Seuss while cuddling up to a stuffed octopus he’d named ‘Howie.’ His grandmother would always ask where he’d come up with that name and he would laugh and point at the sky and say ‘From the stars, silly!’ And the child <i>loved</i> his mother. </p><p>Katie Reese, a woman lost in her own personal demons. She was a party girl from early on, and at first her mother thought it was charming. Jackie was also known as quite the ‘fun time girl’ in her day, so she didn’t think much more of it than it being her daughter having fun and expressing herself. But while there wasn’t much to do in small town Kentucky, what there <i>was</i> to do was unsavory at best. You see, in middle America, there’s a major problem with drugs. Meth especially. People are so poor they turn to selling drugs, making drugs, distributing drugs… it was easy to participate in criminal activity when the government didn’t seem to care about you otherwise. And Katie had lost her path. She didn’t have a man to help raise Duncan because the doctors just couldn’t figure out who the father was. <i>That</i> just seemed ridiculous, but she was also so promiscuous that she couldn’t narrow it down herself, so she was left to her own devices. And she started out with the drugs that led to the selling of her body with good intentions if you can call them that. She wanted to find a way out of Pikeville with her boy, and fast. Drugs were fast. Sex was fast. The money was good. It just wasn’t… legal. Or healthy.</p><p>And so one day Duncan, with his tiny mop of ginger curls dragging a stuffed octopus by one of its tentacles, happened upon a cracked open bathroom door. When he peered inside his mother was hunched over a toilet. Motionless, a needle hanging from her arm. His cries were desperate.</p><p>
  <i>Mommy? Mommy?!</i>
</p><p>Jackie was there for him in a heartbeat. Strong and wise, even though on the inside she was breaking down seeing her little girl half dead on her toilet seat. That was the first time Katie was shipped to rehab and miraculously avoided jail time. She’d survived, but the first mark on her boy’s fragile mind had been made.</p><p>Years went by. Duncan was singled out at school, the other children calling him white trash because they’d heard their own families say it. Some were even so bold as to say they’d heard his mother was a dirty crackwhore and that he didn’t know his own daddy to his face, true statements in the foulest of expression. Because of this no kids were allowed to come over and play, and people treated him like a social leper. </p><p>Throughout his childhood he was treated this way. Nobody ever getting too close. Everyone was too afraid they’d be ‘dirty’ by association with him. So he just buried his nose in books. Books were friends. He could socialize all he wanted in this other world he sunk himself into for at least 300 pages or more. And for some reason, he always sympathized with the monster in science fiction or horror stories. Because often they were outcast and misunderstood for factors in their lives they couldn’t help or comprehend. Frankenstein’s monster never asked for his (un)life, he was just thrust into it and then judged for it severely on every day thereafter. </p><p>When he was fourteen he’d asked his grandmother Jackie, who for all intents and purposes was his guardian since his mother was in and out of rehab and his grandfather had passed away with a long battle with lung cancer, if he could get a summer job for some extra cash to buy more books. And Jackie had always been a supportive mother, if Duncan was showing this kind of initiative he should be rewarded. So she agreed, though at age fourteen he’d have limited prospects. He’d lucked out finding a local farm that needed some extra help during the day, and since he really didn’t have any friends to hang out with and therefore avoided after school activities, he would spend his extra time there. </p><p>That’s where he met ‘Hoss’ Thompson, who was an older man in his forties that helped out on the weekends because he was an old drinking buddy of Cliff the owner’s. He’d often get paired up with him to do things, be supervised by the man while he was helping clean the stables or move bales of hay back and forth from the barn. Simple stuff. He’d often catch the older man staring at him while he worked, but he just assumed he was evaluating his performance and as a young teen he was always on edge about being fired. He didn’t notice how lecherous he looked, or how he would often rub at his pants while watching him. And why would he? He wasn’t versed on any of that stuff yet. </p><p>He wasn’t aware he should be wary. So when the day came that Hoss told him he needed to show him something in the barn, he trusted him. Before he knew it he was in a situation where an older man had his pants down in front of him and he was afraid of being fired. Before he knew it the older man was taking advantage of him. He was not gentle, and it hurt.</p><p>
  <i>'It will feel good eventually, son. Just hold your breath and count to ten.'</i>
</p><p>It was all he could remember him saying amid the searing white hot pain in his gut from a man who was being far too violent with a young virgin. So he did count to ten. Over. And over. And over. Eventually he blacked out for a moment.</p><p>And that was the first time he met <i>HIM</i>. It was as if all time had suspended for one extended moment and he was floating in a blackened vacuous void. A nearby star backlit a writhing mass of tentacles that reminded of his favorite childhood toy, but it wasn’t a constant. The shapes were ever changing. Eyes would open and close on the mass and disappear just as quickly as they arrived. Gaping mouths large enough to swallow a planet gnashed and silently roared in the vacuum of whatever part of space this was, only to close again and reseal on the ever transmuting titan before him. It was a familiar feeling, being this close to such a godly beast, and while Duncan wasn’t necessarily frightened, he <i>was</i> unsettled. He came to understand this beast couldn’t talk in the traditional sense, and soon came to know that he’d communicate with him in other ways. A booming voice projected directly into his head in an old dead language that sounded like unsettling growls and ambient noise more than anything else. Strangely, Duncan understood every word.</p><p>
  <i>WELCOME HOME MY SON.</i>
</p><p>Over the next two years he would come to some uncomfortable truths about the relationship between him and this writhing beast in the stars. His name was Azathoth, and he was the creator of all things in the known universe (according to him). He was trapped in a dimensional prison, his world of origin he called Chaos, by his children who knew his power was too great, forced into an eternal slumber lest he awaken and start devouring all that he’d created into Chaos once more. He’s angry at his other progeny’s disobedience and needs the souls of the innocent to help him awaken so he can rule once again, but to even get started he needs a lot of energy. Perhaps enough souls from all life on a single planet. How he gets them does not matter, so long as the End is signaled by his offspring. </p><p>And Duncan was his most current Earthly son.</p><p>He would show Duncan all the horrible ways this could be done. He could summon an asteroid with his dark magics should they grow powerful enough to wipeout humanity. He could seduce world leaders with his powerful charms and have them all destroy each other with nuclear winter. He could cause a superstorm, or a massive seismic disturbance, or a volcanic disaster of apocalyptic proportions. It all depended on how his divine blood molded his abilities. But each vision was riddled with corpses. Screaming innocents. Dying children. Blood and bone and viscera. He was constantly sick because of it.</p><p>But he kept holding on to humanity. He was half human, and the human spirit is stronger than many give it credit for. The simplest action can galvanize a human into doing the right thing, even with all the wrong in the world that were <i>caused</i> by humans. Azathoth was an indifferent force of nature, but even he was puzzled by Duncan’s reluctance to give in. Had he not been tortured by the citizens of his small town for his mother’s less than virtuous actions? Had he not been raped by a much older man and robbed of all of his innocence? How much would a boy his age have to go through before he needed retribution? </p><p>At the end of the day Duncan still had his human connection to his family. He was still a boy who loved his very problematic mother and hoped she would get better. He was a boy who loved his grandmother, who nurtured his creative and scholastic side. He was a boy who someday hoped that beyond the limits of this small town, he’d find love and friendship like the ones he read about in those novels he devoured every chance he got. Hope. Hope kept him in line.<br/>
So Azathoth had to crush his hope.</p><p>One evening when his grandmother was at work and a massive storm swept across the Appalachian valley, he came to Duncan, overloading his senses with so many hallucinations he could not be ignored. </p><p><i>’I will never love you. I will never change for you. You think that I did what I did to take care of you? Please. I stuck that needle in my arm because I wanted to DIE. I should have shoved a wire hanger inside of me when I had a chance! PATHETIC! YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A PATHETIC PIECE OF WHITE TRASH!’</i> A vision of his mother, with goose white skin bleeding black ichor from her eyes and mouth and laughing as she stalked him around the house.</p><p><i>’You killed me, Dunkie. I can’t believe you killed me. I should have paid for your mother’s abortion! YOU DID THIS!’</i> Another vision of his grandmother, crawling around with her entrails hanging from her gutted stomach. The walls of his house shifted to slimy, pulsating flesh, the windows to giant eyeballs that followed him wherever he went. Watching.</p><p>He ran to his bedroom and tried to hide, but it was there he saw him. Hoss. He wasn’t monstrous. He was just himself. He approached, a grossly sexual look on his face.</p><p>
  <i>’Remember to count to ten again, son.’</i>
</p><p>That’s what set him off. He ran to their bathroom, screaming and crying.</p><p>“FUCK YOU! YOU’LL NEVER HAVE ME! I’LL NEVER DO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO!” He cried out. The voices grew louder. The whispers. The banging on the bathroom door with the combined voices of his ghosts. The pulsating walls. He screamed and punched the mirror repeatedly when he saw his black eyed self staring back at him telling him ‘Nobody will <i>ever</i> love you.’</p><p>He grabbed a mirror shard as the visions grew more intense and hid in the bathtub, rocking back and forth. And that’s when he knew he had to end his own suffering.</p><p>That’s when he made the vertical cuts on his wrists. And as he began to bleed, the walls started shaking. The voices stopped. The ghosts left him. </p><p>This was not what Azathoth planned. He was preying on his innermost fears to get him to go dark, to accept his destiny. Instead he tried to escape it. He wouldn’t have that. So as his spirit entered the land of Chaos, he angrily let him know this was not his time. That it would only end when he deemed it appropriate. A child of Azathoth does not take the easy way out. They become a god or they go down in a blaze of glory, not like some cowering rat in a dirty bath tub.</p><p>So he sent him back.</p><p>The paramedics were able to save him before he bled out. When he woke up, he realized he had been chained to the hospital bed and he immediately started screaming.</p><p>“WHY DID YOU SAVE ME?! HE’S COMING! AZATHOTH IS COMING! HE’S GOING TO MAKE ME HURT YOOOU WHY WOULD YOU!” He cried and thrashed about until three male nurses came in to hold him down while a doctor injected his arm with a sedative. He drifted off to sleep, alone in his mind with his father. His father who would make every attempt to tell him how the humans would never love him. </p><p>He wouldn’t accept that. He would prove him wrong. He wouldn’t be the End of humanity. He would fall in love and live a normal life if it killed him. And he would be happy if that’s what did him in at the end and not all of this cosmic bullshit his father was roping him into. He would prove it. </p><p>He <i>had</i> to.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Bad Romance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Present day, Duncan runs into a former one night stand, only to find he was a ghost.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter starts the portion that came from a roleplay I was in a few years ago. Therefore the formatting will read weird because this is two players taking turns writing. Either way, I hope you enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>From the moment Sonny stepped foot into Wickary, he had a bad feeling about it. He grew up in the projects, in East Harlem, that happened to live and breathe danger around every corner, and yet he still felt safer there than the preachy small town that made him feel like he was suffocating.</p><p>As it turned out, he was right. The town was superstitious and weird as hell, and apparently last Halloween was a disaster, which only made him nervous to wonder what would come this year. Something wicked, presumably. Nothing good.</p><p>But his biggest concern wasn't the upcoming festivities. It was Duncan Reese, the only person in town who happened to know he was dead. One moment they were flirting in the middle of Hungry Hollow, the next they were in stockroom, pawing at each other's clothes until they were bare from the waist down. He demanded Duncan strip all the way because he still had his qualms about half-dressed men in enclosed spaces. An apron might just be an apron, but it was also a damn good place to conceal a weapon. </p><p>Everything was fine until Duncan just blurted out that he knew he was dead. Sonny panicked. He didn't even bother to finish. Instead, he gaped at him wide-eyed and scrambled to put his clothes back on. That was a couple weeks ago, and he hadn't spoken to him since. As much as he wanted to confront him, he was afraid to have words with the only person that knew he wasn't alive. What would the repercussions be? How did he know? Will he tell anyone else? Did he tell someone already? These answers haunted him until he couldn't stand it.</p><p>He decided his safest option was to keep a close eye on him, feel him out, watch him from afar, study his movements, gather as much intel on him as he had on himself so he couldn't use it against him without collateral damage.</p><p>He was waiting across the street around the time he knew Duncan would get off work. He lit a cigarette and pocketed the light back in his leather jacket and waited patiently beneath the canopy of a tree. On the dot, Duncan appeared through the exit doors. He didn't follow him straightaway, not wanting to come off obvious. Instead, he stuck to the shadows, hugging the walls but staying close enough so he didn't lose track of him.</p><p>It wasn't so much he blurted out that he was dead. Yeah, that part happened, but the way Duncan remembered it was a little different. The store was mostly dead. Misty was out for the night, Charlie was running the registers as always. It was just Duncan stocking. And Azathoth's screams were more powerful that day. He was noticeably perturbed, he had a headache and was shaking a bit. But he supposed he was still marginally attractive, and this new boy was being nice to him. As he was want to do, he wanted to forget. So he did drag him into the stock room in the back, where there was only one security camera that he wasn't even sure still worked. And they had sex. And it was good. Until the end, when upon completion he was suddenly seeing through the stranger's eyes. A gun placed to his head followed by a shot. And then searing pain in his head. </p><p>And then the exclamation of "FUCK YOU'RE DEAD!" followed by a pounding in his head. He chugged Tylenol for like three days afterward. </p><p>But honestly it wasn't like he was gonna tell anyone. Sonny was dead and yet somehow still walking around. Okay. Duncan had a bajillion year old demon squid badgering him into trying to end the world telepathically. People be weird. Wickary was a strange place. But the kid was nice enough, he didn't get the sense that there was anything really wrong with him other than the undeadness. He figured that was a secret he wasn't keen on sharing. Duncan in his own weird way was respectful like that. </p><p>He closed up and walked out the doors, no sooner than he did so lighting up a cigarette. Those things will kill ya Grams always said. God he hoped so. It was better than the alternative. But he felt a presence. He stopped and flicked his cigarette, then his eyes rolled back in his head and his monstrous pupils came out for just a moment. He was seeing from the boy's perspective again, in flashes. Different viewpoints so fast. All staring at himself. Duncan a few days ago around campus. Duncan walking into work. And at last, Duncan, right this moment, standing still in the alley. This vision was quick, and strained his forehead to the point where he got a nosebleed from all the sinus pressure. Fuck he'd never get used to that.</p><p>"You know you could just say hello instead." He said in an almost agitated voice, because now he had another small migraine and that was never fun.</p><p>Once upon a time, Sonny wouldn't have stand for this. If someone was suspected of squealing on him, he'd see to it that they were sleeping with the fishes come morning. Or, if he was feeling merciful, he'd let him walk away at the expense of his tongue. But it was best to leave that mindset in the past. He needed to keep a low profile, and he wasn't a gangster anymore. And maybe he had gone soft, but he didn't want to hurt people anymore. In truth, he never really did. Joining the Red Wings was just a way for him to avenge his mother and appease his father. He failed them both. The Red Wings was long gone now, just another tale to go in the history books.</p><p>Besides, he had this situation under control. Or so he thought. He froze when Duncan stopped in his tracks. Did he come too close? Did he hear his footsteps, smell the billow of his smoke?</p><p>Shit.</p><p>He shouldn't be scared. He was lucid and head-to-toed men twice his size before, but something about the blatant irritation in Duncan's voice made his heart hammer in his ribs and his arms turn to gooseflesh.</p><p>There was a long, tense moment of silence so deafening that he could hear the faint wind blow in his ears. He thought about running away, but that wasn't his style.</p><p>He wanted to speak, demand he tell him how he knew what he was, but every time he opened his mouth, only breath came out. Instead of answering him, he took another drag from his cigarette. He might look like he was sizing him up with that permanent scowl on his face, but inwardly he was freaking out, trying to think of his next move, an explanation to get himself out of this hole he dug himself into.</p><p>Funny, weeks ago he could talk to him no problem, charm his pants off if he wanted (and he had), but at the moment, the brick wall beside him would have more to say.</p><p>Duncan turned and raised his eyebrow, taking a hit off his own cigarette as well as he looked at the boy barely blending into the shadows. He was uncommonly silent. Duncan couldn't recall him being that silent before. In fact, he quite remembered having to cover his mouth. But he knew what was happening. He had a habit to emit that terrifying demonic aura. Thanks dad.</p><p>He pursed his lips and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and nodded for him to walk forward.</p><p>"Ya gonna just... stay there or you gonna come out?" He cocked his head to the side, removing the cigarette from his mouth and tapping it gently against his side so the ashes tumbled slowly to the concrete below.</p><p>"Is stalkin' a ghost thing or you just looking for another tumble? Because as fun as it was I had a headache from hell for like three days after taking a trip down your memory lane and I can't say I'm super excited to repeat it." He said. He moved and leaned back against the dumpster behind him as he patiently awaited the boy to get over his reluctance and step out. </p><p>"...sides, Store's locked up now and my Grams is home and as cute's you are, I'd rather not have a quickie by the dumpster."</p><p>Sonny's brows beetled together in confusion. A trip down memory lane? Headaches? This boy was talking like he was psychic. He guessed he shouldn't be surprised. It was Wickary for Christ's sake. People here were strange and peculiar, and as a ghost, he shouldn't be surprised that other spooks existed.</p><p>"What are ya, Sylvia Browne?" A bonafide psychic would explain a lot, but that didn't make him feel anymore comfortable that he knew.</p><p>He flicked the ashes to the wind, stepping forward, out from the safety of the shadows but keeping his distance all the same. As tempting as it was to go for round two, he wasn't here for that. This was strictly business, not pleasure. Not yet anyway. </p><p>"Don't flatter yourself, suga. I ain't here to bump uglies with you again. I just wanna know if you're gonna rat on me or not. What's your play?"</p><p>Duncan's own eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he tilted his head. Sylvia Browne? That was a deep cut that Duncan was unfamiliar with. If he'd made reference about country music singers from the last 40 years, he'd have gotten it. Kentucky was a... special place. But as Duncan didn't fancy himself a psychic despite the fact that... he literally was, he didn't go out of his way to learn about the pop culture ones. </p><p>Except Miss Cleo. Everyone knew Miss Cleo.</p><p>"I donno if I get that reference but I DO see things. Like the time you got your brains blew out. I don't know what's worse, that you're dead or old." Duncan said, that last part more of a gentle rib only really recognizable to those that knew him. He had an odd way of flirting. Some people got it, most people did not. It really only rarely worked but when it did it did.</p><p>Still Sonny confirmed he wasn't stalking him for sex, and Duncan shrugged, tossing the cigarette onto the pavement and crushing it under his heel.</p><p>"What play do I possibly have for you? You're a ghost, not a senator caught with his pants down. People don't believe in ghosts. As far as leverage goes you kinda suck." He gave a very light smirk. His face could have been portrayed as monotone if it weren't for that little grin slowly forming in the corners of his mouth. </p><p>"Look, I know you probably ain't been here super long but you should know people in town think I'm just crazy. So even if I did tell someone, which I have no reason to, they would still think I'm crazy and you'd still be fine. Get it?" He shrugged, rolling his eyes before moving to walk again.</p><p>If the circumstances were any different, Sonny might have laughed at that joke about his age. He was old school, so he never would have guessed it was Duncan's strange attempt at flirting. He seemed more straightforward the first night they met, or maybe he was just too hot and bothered to care.</p><p>Duncan made a valid point. Who would believe him? Still, if he even blabbed to just one wrong, superstitious person, he was in hot water. He couldn't take that kind of heat.</p><p>Sonny ashed his own cigarette on the brick wall, leaving a scorch mark in its wake before following Duncan, hot on his heels.</p><p>"Might be the part where ya can see in people's noggins or however your magic works. That's enough to turn any stray cat white. Ya might wanna stitch your lips if ya ever want people to think you're workin' with a full deck of cards, even if you're bluffin'." Sonny added, his own two cents.</p><p>"How's it work for ya anyway? Ya made it sound like us knockin' boots set ya off." He shot him a curious sidelong glance, wondering if the answer lied somewhere in his forest green eyes.</p><p>Duncan continued walking, his mouth actually emitting a small bout of laughter when Sonny started talking. He guessed he never really paid attention before but how did he not catch on that there was something off about him even before the weird vision. </p><p>"Do you always talk like a Batman villain or..." He joked a bit, not breaking his stride. Or actually, slowing down just a bit so the boy could keep up. Wouldn't want to give an old man a hard time. Also maybe just because as much as he played the aloof town psycho he did enjoy when people had something to say to him other than concerned whispers. </p><p>At his question, he shrugged. He sure as hell wasn't going to give him the long answer. Oh you know, my father is a giant shapeshifting tentacled demon god in space. He pesters me with passive aggressive whispers and the occasional horrifying vision because he's disappointed I haven't helped him eat the Earth yet. Kid stuff. </p><p>"It... did. It varies I guess. Sometimes it's by touch. Sometimes it's by feeling. There was a lot of passion that ended up killing you so... of course sex would be what set it off." He surmised. He peered out of the corner of his eye to survey his face. He wasn't sure what to call Sonny. A ghost maybe? But ghosts were supposed to be invisible right? At least not solid. But he was warm enough, and he didn't seem to want to eat people. It was something entirely new to him.</p><p>"What about you? Shouldn't you be more... see-through?"</p><p>There was no denying Sonny prattled on like he was about to burst into song about Greased Lightning in his best John Travolta impression. All those drawn out vowel sounds and out-of-style slang just to make conversation? The 50s diner he worked at was eating it up. They thought he was trying to stay in character, and it was good for business. People loved to be theatrically entertained.</p><p>"Ya ain't the first person that's told me that. Figured since ya know I'm old enough to be your granddaddy, ya might be a little more sympathetic instead of pokin' fun at an old man who hasn't picked up on your slang yet." Maybe he should have. It would be a lot easier to convince people he was born in this decade if he talked just like them.</p><p>He matched his stride, dumping his leather-clothed hands deep in the pockets of his jacket. He wasn't warm as a furnace but warm enough to not make anyone question if they needed to turn down the AC. Honestly, he didn't know the science behind it.</p><p>"I was for awhile. My only friend was the radio or a good book. Watched a lotta TV, too. Then one day instead of passin' through this old lady, I bumped right into her. She scolded me like I didn't know any betta."</p><p>He shrugged. "I ain't complain'. It beats bein' air. Still a spook, though. Got no heartbeat, and I can't feel no pain the same way as before alla this. Sex still feels swell."</p><p>He smirked playfully at him. "In case ya was wonderin' if I was fakin' it."</p><p>"You've been around all these years and you still ain't been introduced to the world of 'Thots and Baes?' I... almost envy you." Duncan mused a bit. It was a silly notion that someone would be living... well... unliving, for so long and yet still would remain completely ignorant to the changing world around them. It was like he was in that old kids movie Suzy Q. But you know... he banged the ghost. </p><p>He listened to Sonny talk. He had to admit there was an odd comfort in hearing his whimsical, almost musical voice tell stories. He was almost like a live action cartoon character, a charming greaser ghost from another time. It put him at ease. It might have also been paired with the knowledge that he too was a 'freak' in his own way.</p><p>Then he launched that flirtatious volley back and Duncan actually smiled in surprise. </p><p>"I mean, I noticed you finished despite all the screamin' and swatting at my head. But thanks for the confirmation." He said sheepishly, looking away for a moment as they walked across the street into the more residential areas. </p><p>"How'd you end up all the way out here? You was in New York right? I thought ghosts were trapped in old houses or somethin."</p><p>Maybe he was as stubborn as any old person set in their ways. Or maybe he was trapped in the past, incapable of ever truly existing in the present because, at the end of the day, he didn't belong here.</p><p>That smile of Duncan's could make his pants drop again, but that sort of knee-jerk reaction was what got him in trouble in the first place. Even so, it was nice to know Duncan wasn't a threat, or he didn't seem to be anyway. It was even nicer to have someone to talk to about what he was, like a weight lifted from his chest and he can finally breathe again. He figured a psychic would understand why he wanted to keep it a secret, under lock and key.</p><p>"Oh, that wasn't―" He stopped mid-sentence, saving himself the humiliation of admitting he pissed himself that night. He finished; it just wasn't in the confines of that cramped stockroom. "Ya know, never mind."</p><p>He shrugged, walking along the sidewalk toward wherever Duncan lived (he remembered the route from when he followed him home once), because he sure as hell didn't have anywhere special to be tonight. "Guess I'mma free spirit," he joked, the corners of his pouty mouth curling into a self-satisfied smirk.</p><p>He lightly elbowed Duncan on his side to see if he could get a laugh out of him. "C'mon, ya gotta admit that was a lil funny," he teased.</p><p>"I never got with it. Dunno why I ain't hauntin' some pad instead of chattin' ya up. I came to this dive for family, though she don't know it yet."</p><p>When they stopped at a row of houses, Sonny's dark eyebrows arched expectantly. "So ya gonna invite me in or is Grams gonna go ape on ya for bringin' home a stray?"</p><p>If Duncan wanted him to, he'd leave. He wouldn't press the issue. It wasn't like he could spy on him anymore now that he knew about it.</p><p>Duncan raised an eyebrow at his strange response. Admittedly he didn't really see much beyond a little dampness when that searing headache hit. Most visions only gave a light migraine, but most visions as it were, were not the full on JFK experience. </p><p>Still, it seemed they walked further than he'd realized and they were approaching his house. Indeed he was right the other evening when he'd told Caleb about his grandmother's enthusiasm for the holidays. His house was the only on the block with bright orange pumpkin lights streamed along the gutters. </p><p>"Your dad jokes are... well... dad jokes." He said in an unamused tone, though he still had a hint of a little smile in the corner of his mouth. He turned and looked over the ghost and tilted his head, thinking about it a moment.</p><p>"You can come in and hang out. Though I mean it. As a rule I don't do sex if Grams is home. Guess you're just gonna hafta have a conversation for once." He nodded, walking with him toward his house. He was sure his grandmother wouldn't mind. She was always delighted to see he had friends, if only so she could rub it into the other townsfolk's faces that he wasn't the creepy loner people thought he was.</p><p>Had he known what Duncan was thinking, he might have cleared up the confusion that he was referring to their night together, not his vengeful ex that put a bullet between his eyes. He only urinated a little, but it was ironic someone finding out his secret terrified him more than being murdered. In truth, he didn't exactly have time to react to a gunshot anyway, otherwise he probably would have wet the bed.</p><p>The house was easy to spot. It was the only house on the street lit up like a Christmas tree, which only made him wonder what the the house would like come December.</p><p>"S'good to know if the old bat wasn't around, the offer is on the table. Thought ya wanted to avoid another headache, though?" Sonny said with a teasing smile, following him into his home.</p><p>"Cool it, Red. I'll keep my paws to myself. Wouldn't wanna risk ya a brain aneurysm." Not more than an instant later, he was wearing a ripe smile, thinking some naughty thought that he wouldn't dare say aloud. Something along the lines of: But then I can tell everyone I fucked your brains out and mean it.</p><p>Duncan stopped for a moment, giving him a sheepish look. What could he say? He was caught in his flirtation. It was fine. Few people were allowed to see the less gloomy side of him, and when someone had already seen him naked he figured they may as well qualify to be in that small exclusive club.</p><p>"Sometimes risk is worth the reward." He said with his subtle secret smile. He turned and walked up the steps to the front porch and opened the door. The living room and the kitchen were just as festive. Fake spiderwebs clung to the bookshelves. Little vibrant orange and black flower arrangements decorated the coffee table and end tables. A cutesy fall wreathe on the front door. The church might have convinced the town that Halloween was sinful but Jackie would be damned if they tried to dictate what she did to her home. </p><p>"Oh hello punkin... oooh another friend?" His grandmother looked over her shoulder in the kitchen. The table was littered with glitter and ribbon. She'd taken up crafting as a hobby in her downtime. She'd even made the wreathe on the door. Maybe business for her side hustle wasn't totally booming in Wickary, but the next town over where she worked she'd already made around five hundred extra bucks making cutesy Halloween things for the ladies at the bank. </p><p>"Well hello. It's nice to meet you. Duncan has always had problems socializing but he seems to be making a lot of friends. See! I told ya college was gon' do ya some good!" She smiled, ruffling Duncan's hair. The normally expressionless boy got a little smile on his face and rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Yeah yeah..." He said, taking off his jacket.</p><p>"This is Sonny. I met him at work a few weeks ago." He said, pouring himself a glass of apple cider that Jackie had set out. He took a gulp and his grandmother pursed her lips.</p><p>"Well offer your guest some. I did not raise a mannerless heathen!" She said with some sass, smiling at Sonny. She moved to pour him a glass as well.</p><p>"I've not seen you before. Are you new to town? I suppose the fall semester just started up at that there school. Lots of new faces it seems."</p><p>Sonny appreciated the rare smile and returned effort at flirtation. He only wished Duncan wasn't so reluctant to express himself this freely more often. In the short time he knew him, he lumped together two things that stood out to him. One, he was extremely guarded and two, he always appeared to be annoyed or indifferent. He supposed he couldn't blame someone for keeping everyone at an arm's length when said arm could trigger a vision that probably made his head feel like it was being cracked open like a coconut.</p><p>The festivities didn't end outside Duncan's family home. The entire living room and kitchen was decorated in dominant colors of black and orange. There was a ghost hanging from the ceiling, a typical white, sheeted mass with black orbs for eyes. "Heh. It's the spittin' image of me, don'tcha think?" Sonny joked.</p><p>When a older woman greeted them, Sonny gave her a once-over. She was a petite lady with a pixie nose and hair as red as her grandson's. Hot redheads must have run in the family. He couldn't help but think if he hadn't died, he'd look just as rough as her right about now, aging like fine wine with crow's feet and all. But no, Sonny was forever twenty-one. He'd never know what it would be like to be her age, and while most would kill to stay in their twenties, he was almost envious of Jackie.</p><p>"S'nice to meet ya, too, Ma'am." Sonny said, putting on his best, charming smile.</p><p>"Kinda new. Only been here for a spell. Your boy's been showin' me the ropes. What's buzzin' and whatnot." She didn't need to know all the intimate details of how they really met, otherwise the poor woman might not live to celebrate next Halloween.</p><p>He nodded appreciatively to his surroundings as he took the cider from Jackie who generously offered it, taking a generous sip. He was grateful he could taste things almost just the same as when he was alive, but it had turned him into somewhat of a shameless glutton. He downed the cider in a few big gulps.</p><p>"Ya do this all yourself? Somethin' tells me Duncan here ain't much of a decorator, so I'm puttin' high stakes on ya. S'cool to see someone who ain't afraid to celebrate the devil's day." Pastor Alan really had everyone shaken up over this ominous holiday.</p><p>Duncan couldn't help but hunch his shoulders inward just a little as he nursed his cup of cider, watching his grandmother interact with this other person. He couldn't help it. Home was where he was most vulnerable. Grams was the one person who knew absolutely everything about him. Except really, she didn't know anything. She loved him, she took care of him, vowing to right the wrongs she made with her dear Katherine. But in the end she was still just a human who understood humanly things. She agreed with the doctors that her grandson was just sick in the head, that he couldn't possibly hear the voices he claimed. It wasn't her fault. She didn't know better. She was one of the few people he cherished. He was hoping to put off the apocalypse stuff until after she passed, but she was vibrant enough to have many years left and he knew Azathoth wouldn't let him procrastinate forever. </p><p>"Well I'm Jacqueline but you can just call me Jackie for short." She said, cupping her hands around one of Sonny's in the friendly way grandmother's did. She listened to him speak in awe, looking over his face for a moment.</p><p>"You have a very old soul about you. Something behind those dashing eyes. Somewhere between James Dean and a young Johnny Cash." She said with a smile. Duncan rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Gramma please..." He said almost embarrassed. She just shushed him.</p><p>"Oh yes. I've tried to make the holidays special for lil Dunc since he was a baby. I remember his first Halloween we dressed him up like a lil devil with this adorable little mask..." She gushed. Duncan just looked unblinking at her for a moment. He supposed this whole demonspawn thing really was destined from the beginning. </p><p>"I know the murders last year were unfortunate, but I see no reason why we should live in fear. Life really is too short." She nodded.</p><p>"Did you want to see the pictures of Duncan's devil costume?" She asked. That's when Duncan shook his head and grabbed Sonny's arm.</p><p>"We'll be out back, Grams. Have fun with your crafts." He said, opening the back door. He moved to one of the lawnchairs on the back deck and slunk down in it, giving an uncomfortable laugh.</p><p>"Sorry she's... excitable. I don't really... talk to people much."</p><p>Jackie had an aura about her that was infectious as that vibrant smile of hers. Her hands were surprisingly soft, not stiff and leathery like some elders but rather silky smooth to the touch, probably the end result of good health and a excellent moisturizer.</p><p>Sonny couldn't help but smile to himself when she called him an "old soul." Oh, Jackie. If she only knew. She might actually appreciate chatting up someone who actually knew who James Dean and Johnny Cash were, and not just because he heard his parents rave on about them in their glory days, or the fact they were legends in the media to this day, like Marilyn Monroe or Elvis Presley, who were forever timeless and you had to be living under a rock not to know them at least by name. He remembered staying glued to the radio just to listen to all his favorite hits. Now everyone just popped open Spotify on their phones or downloaded music on itunes. Kids had it so easy these days.</p><p>"Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong decade," Sonny joked.</p><p>When Jackie carried on about dressing Duncan up as a devil his first Halloween, all he could do was smile at him, trying to picture him in a red suit with horns. Jackie said he looked adorable, and he couldn't agree more without needing to see it with his own eyes. "I bet he did."</p><p>For a fleeting moment, his smile faded when Jackie told him life was too short. Sonny knew better than anyone, and he couldn't count how many times he wished he could turn back time and do it all over again. He would have lived more, instead of wasting his life settling old scores and fighting wars that didn't matter.</p><p>"I'd love to―" Suddenly Duncan was yanking on his arm, leading him out back. He didn't resist and instead claimed one of the lawn chairs next to him, stretching and cupping his hands behind his head as he looked up at the sky with a amused smile.</p><p>It was cute Duncan was so embarrassed, but he honestly didn't think he had anything to be ashamed of. "Nah, she's a real doll. She reminds me of my aunt. She could talk your ear off if ya let her, but everyone loved her to bits."</p><p>He glanced behind him for a moment, making sure Jackie wasn't eavesdropping like some curious grandmothers would out of the best intentions.</p><p>"Does she, uh, know about your lil gift?" Sonny asked in a low voice, tapping the side of his temple so he'd know what he was referring to without him needing to verbally say it.</p><p>He knew that Sonny was probably having too much fun with his grandmother, pretending to be young when he was probably well older than her. But things started getting a little too personal for him. Sure, his baby pictures were adorable, but it was him from another life. Before the whispers. Before the void. Once he'd seen the heart of Chaos, he came back changed and sometimes it made him sad that he could never really go back. </p><p>They sat in the back, Duncan going limp in the chair, staring off into the woods that made up the end of his back yard. His gaze shifted back to Sonny after he asked about just how much Jackie knew, and he got an almost disappointed look on his face.</p><p>"She's aware that I see things. Doctors convinced her I have a bad case of Schizophrenia. So... she don't believe me." He sighed, playing with the little rubber band on his wrist. He'd put one there at work after tying up some bags and forgot about it.</p><p>"Got me down so much... the whole people not believin me thing. I tried to end it all when I was sixteen." He said, raising his wrist and showing him one of the long scars running vertical along his arm. </p><p>"I uh... the visions got so bad that I just... I didn't want to hurt or see it anymore. So I tried to end it. I almost succeeded. But when I saw the other side..." When he saw the other side, Azathoth was there. A massive growling mass of tentacles and eyeballs and gnashing teeth. It told him he couldn't get out of it that easily. He wasn't allowed to go yet. At least not on his own terms. His soul was not his own.</p><p>"...I dunno I just woke up, cuffed to a hospital bed and all patched up. It was... Well... an experience. The doctors and nurses treated me like a crazy person. Maybe I am. But I do see things." He said, looking down at his feet.</p><p>"I don't normally open up but... you're a ghost. So... you believe things can be weird and true at the same time."</p><p>Sonny didn't interrupt him once, instead he listened intently. If he wasn't a ghost, he'd probably find his story bizarre, but the fact was a psychic wasn't any crazier than a spirit who hadn't moved on to the other side yet. Aside from that, Duncan hadn't given him any reason not to believe him. He knew exactly what he was and how it happened. There was no arguing if he was the real deal or not.</p><p>It was a sob story, a real tear-jerker. If there was an audience, there wouldn't be a dry seat in the house. He couldn't imagine having a gift that everyone just chalked up to as "you're crazy, seek help." On the other hand, he couldn't blame people for questioning it. Most people didn't have an open mind. Seeing was believing and all that, and Duncan didn't exactly have any proof other than his word and intelligible truths. And in a town like Wickary, he imagined it was even harder to convince people he was anything but crazy, despite the unexplainable events that happened here last Halloween.</p><p>His brows raised at the scars. Those cuts were gnarly; he thought Duncan should consider himself lucky for surviving that.</p><p>"When ya saw the other side, did ya see anythin'? White light or whateva?" He wasn't trying to make this about him, but his interest was peaked. He always wondered if there even was a other side. Maybe everyone was just doomed to haunt earth forever, or maybe this was hell, and heaven was just a fairy tale to make people feel better about death.</p><p>"Yeah, I believe ya, Red. Got no reason not to. S'not like ya could know how I kicked the bucket to my sweetheart an' all. Even deep divin' on the internet won't give ya much luck. The cops thought I offed myself. Fuckin' meatheads couldn't solve a case if it slapped on a thong and gave 'em a lap dance."</p><p>He acknowledged the rubber band Duncan kept picking at, raising his chin in gesture. "Hope ya ain't cuttin' no mo'. Think I read somewhere cutters use rubber bands to help 'em stop cuttin' so much. I know it ain't my place, an' I hardly know ya, but I can't stand thinkin' you're hurtin' yourself."</p><p>He asked a question Duncan still wasn't comfortable answering fully. Because to reveal that would be to reveal something he still hadn't fully accepted for himself. He was still undecided on bringing about the destruction of their world. Telling Sonny what he really saw would just lead to more questions he didn't want to answer. So he decided to lie with the truth.</p><p>"I saw my father." He said blankly. </p><p>"...and nothing. An endless void. Darkness. Floating shapes in the sky but mostly just... black." He knew this to be the realm where his father was imprisoned. When he read the legends, the fictionalized version by one H.P. Lovecraft, whom he was certain wasn't a creative man but rather someone plagued with visions of his own who likely just failed his quest, he remembered there being mention of Old One watching over Azathoth. Keeping him imprisoned so that he never woke, never destroyed creation. But something was happening the last century or so. His bonds were breaking. The threat of his awakening were very real, and he needed more to break free. To consume all. Denying him this was literally an act of heroism. But the mental torture would only get worse as time went on. Azathoth would break him or he would kill him. There was no in between.</p><p>He came back to, looking down to his rubber band. He did enjoy flicking it against his skin in a weird way. Little pain reminders took the heat from the headaches. </p><p>"Oh I... I don't anymore. I mostly..." He gave a small smile an a shrug.</p><p>"...sex helps more than rubber bands. It's just I rely more on alternatives lately because this town is really small and I don't always like to go out of town to 'distract' myself."</p><p>The blood drained from his already white face. A void. Darkness. Black. That was what Sonny was afraid to hear, that the after life wasn't all sunshine and rainbows but frightening abyss that of nothingness. If that was what it meant to move on to a better place, Sonny wasn't interested.</p><p>If that meant remaining in limbo, existing among the living but never truly being alive, so be it. The alternative was worse.</p><p>"So the pearly white gates an' clouds are bullshit, huh? Figures. I'm suin' Pastor Cromley for spoutin' lies." Sonny muttered, his hand reflexively searching for his pack of cigarettes in his pockets, needing a smoke to calm his nerves that were shot, despite the fact there was no blood pumping through them.</p><p>Sonny lit up his cigarette and took a long, much needed drag before his eyes swiveled in his direction, his grin downright smug and crooked. "Well, if ya ever lookin' for another distraction, gimme a call. I got a lotta issues to work out myself, an' you're the first boy I met who hasn't givin' me PTSD just for gettin' freaky wit it." </p><p>It seemed they both were guilty of using sex as coping mechanisms. This could be a recipe for disaster.</p><p>Duncan heard the fear and uncertainty in his voice, and in a strange way he felt the need to comfort him. In an action that was both sincere and maybe a tad uncharacteristic, he reached over and rest a hand on Sonny's knee. It was still so strange that he was a ghost that he could see and feel and touch. </p><p>"If it makes you feel any better, I don't... exactly know if that was THE afterlife or just mine." He said in all seriousness. It was the heart of Chaos. It was where he would go. Imprisoned until Azathoth needed his soul for something else. Or just consumed it. To be honest he wasn't sure how well he bought into the whole 'Prince of Chaos' promises that daddy made.</p><p>He smirked, watching the boy light up, taking in what he said. It felt like an arrangement being born. One he could live with. Duncan probably wasn't ready for something serious. But sex with someone who really got him? That he could deal with. It was nice to have someone he felt really didn't judge him because they were beyond fucked up themselves. So as if on instinct, he just leaned over and kissed him. Just momentarily, as if to give him an answer. When he pulled away, he gave a half smile and slouched back in his chair. </p><p>"You can keep stalking me if you want. I mean... sure it's creepy but like... so am I."</p><p>Sonny focused on the place where his hand touched his knee. Even through the denim of his jeans, his touch was fever-warm against where it rested. "Maybe. Still, I ain't one to gamble on it," he said, failing to keep his hand perfectly still as he stole his next inhale of nicotine.</p><p>The kiss caught him off guard. He barely moved his lips because he didn't see it coming. Sure, he was intimate with Duncan before, but that was before he really knew him. He didn't know how rare it was for the redhead to show any sort of affection, and now that he was gifting him another rarity, all he could do was gape at him.</p><p>His shocked expression melted away soon enough once he pieced together what the kiss was for, a unspoken pact to find comfort in each other, no strings attached, if only because they both were weird enough to understand one another. Of course that couldn't happened tonight with Jackie around, but he was looking forward to the next time they were alone together.</p><p>"S'not really stalkin' if ya know I'm watchin'. Kinda takes the fun outta it," Sonny mused, spacing out for a moment as he thought of the few times he was watching Duncan when he really shouldn't have been, private moments where he'd catch him undressing in his room or even touching himself.</p><p>He shook his head, trying to dispel the wicked thought from his mind and change the subject. "So what's with Halloween in this town anyways? 'Round the time I rolled in, everyone looked like they'd seen a ghost. No pun intended. Thought it might be me till I heard alla the stories. Any truth to it, or is this town just crazy superstitious?"</p><p>Duncan gave a puckish half grin to him and offered a shrug of feigned ignorance.</p><p>"Guess I'll just have to remain blissfully unawares to when you're around then, huh?" Duncan teased. Sonny made it to light teasing. It was amazing how easily the comfort came when he knew the other party was just as weird as he was. </p><p>But Ah the age old Halloween question. The one that every newcomer to town seemed to have for Duncan but he had just as many answers for them as they did themselves.</p><p>"I mean... I don't remember much of last Halloween. I had... bad vision attacks, knocked me out most of the night. But a couple kids were killed last year. Nobody can ever get the details straight. It's mostly because of that damn culty pastor in town riling everyone up and causing all the church ladies to gossip. But he's convinced all the older people to not participate in Halloween this year, lest we summon demons or some shit. But like... this is a college town. If he seriously thinks there's not going to be a party somewhere then he's lost complete touch with reality." Duncan mused. And he knew there would be a party.</p><p>He saw a vision of himself murdering people at one.</p><p>Sonny wasn't oblivious that he had graduated from mild flirtation to teasing. It was a nice change of pace in comparison to the cold treatment he received earlier, back in the alley.</p><p>He was glad Duncan felt comfortable enough around him to let down those walls he so carefully put up. In turn, Sonny found it freeing to have someone to vent to about his own situation.</p><p>"Yeah, I heard people croaked, but everyone had a different stories on how it happened. Kinda hopin' the pastor's right on this one. This town's getting a lil stale for me, an' demons poppin' up could shake things up a bit." He was probably going to eat those words later down the road.</p><p>"So ya doin' anythin' special this Halloween? A party sounds like a good way to make friends, an' it sounds like we both could use 'em."</p><p>"Yeah well it just spiraled out of control I guess. Personally I think it's a little much over a few dead kids. But then I suppose you come back from the other side you're a little more blase about it." Duncan shrugged a bit. But he picked up on the little thing Sonny said about wishing demons would pop up, and he couldn't help but smirk just a little bit. Be careful what you wish for, Casper. </p><p>"You askin' me on a Halloween date?" Duncan raised an eyebrow, face a little blank for a moment. But then he relaxed and smiled.</p><p>"I am not currently doing anything. I mean... probably working but nothing after that. So if you want to crash a frat party... Normally that's not my speed but it could be fun." He said, idly playing with the rubber band on his wrist again. He didn't know why he was agreeing to it. Actually he should be staying far away from Halloween parties given what he had a vision about the other day, but he figured if he had someone there to stop him- someone already dead- then he had a better chance preventing it.</p><p>The way Duncan gaped at him, like he just got down on one knee and asked him to marry him, he nearly laughed right in his precious face. "Depends what ya answer is. S'not like we're goin' steady or anythin', just thought ya might be lookin' for some company that night."</p><p>His eyes fell to his scarred wrist. That damn rubber band might seem harmless, but he couldn't help but think it was a gateway to self-injury. His hand shot out, stopping him from snapping that band against his wrist one more damn time, and instead he offered to give him another outlet, grabbing his hand and slipping his fingers in his.</p><p>He met his eyes with an easy smile. "S'not much of a distraction, but it'll have to do for now."</p><p>Duncan mused at the way Sonny made a turn, thinking Duncan was truly unamused at the offer when in actuality it was nice for once. </p><p>"Yeah. We can hang out. What's spookier than a crazy kid with psychic powers and a ghost who thinks he's John Travolta?" He smirked. He was busy playing with the band, about to snap again as a nervous tic. But then he found a hand intwining with his own. He stopped and looked at it for a moment, watching each finger embrace his own, and he looked up at Sonny who met him with a sincere smile. </p><p>A nice smile from someone that believed in him. </p><p>His eyes watered for a moment, and though he continued letting Sonny hold his hand, he turned and looked away, embarrassed at showing that much emotion. </p><p>"S-sorry. Seasonal allergies I think. Maybe." He said in a very unconvincing way to explain it away. He was touched that he at the very least had someone in his corner. 100% for the first time. He turned and looked at him once he was confident he'd wiped the evidence from his eyes.</p><p>"...thank you." He said in a gracious whisper, clasping his hand shut around Sonny's.</p><p>"I'm way cooler than John Travolta," Sonny joked, and as if to contest to that, he smoked his cigarette with a little more flair, puffing out Os into the crisp air.</p><p>Sonny watched tears well up in Duncan's bright eyes, and it was then he realized the heartbreaking gospel truth that this beautifully damaged boy wasn't accustomed to this sort of treatment. He probably only ever gotten affection from his doting grandmother, and even she didn't completely understand him, after raising him probably her whole life, not the way Sonny had in just one small window of them meeting each other.</p><p>To think, with reservations, he contemplated killing Duncan to keep him silent about his big secret, now he couldn't even entertain the idea. When he clasped his hand in return, he gave it a reassuring squeeze.</p><p>"No sweat, kid."</p><p>After a moment of silence that didn't really need to be broken because somehow they were able to communicate a lot with little to no words, just hand-holding and intense eye contact, he broke the silence. </p><p>"Mind if I ask ya a personal question?" Sonny inquired.</p><p>"Where's ya motha? I got your pops bit the big one with what ya said about seein' him on the other side an' all, but ya never said nothin' about ya motha."</p><p>Sonny asked if he could ask a personal question. Before, the idea of people knowing more than base knowledge about him was bothersome. But now? He enjoyed having a person he felt he could trust. Maybe not with just anything yet. He wasn't sure he was at the level of 'My dad is a squiggly demon god from space, ask me how' yet, but maybe eventually.</p><p>"Shoot." He said, then scrunched his nose.</p><p>"Sorry... poor choice of words. Ask away." He said, leaning on his hand while he looked him over. The question that came out of his mouth wasn't something he enjoyed talking about, but Sonny did put him at ease. So after a moment of silence, he leaned over and picked the cigarette from Sonny's lips and took a drag before placing it back in his mouth.</p><p>"...the Kentucky Correctional Facility for Women." He said after a beat. </p><p>"When I was five I walked in on my mom lying in a puddle of her own piss and vomit, looking like a zombie from one of them scary movies. That was the first time she overdosed. She uh... I donno. She got into a bad crowd back where I grew up. Got into drugs. Meth. Heroine. Then she started sleepin' with men for money. She wasn't around much but when she was... well she still wasn't. Not mentally anyway." He shrugged, retelling the story. He'd never told anyone this. It was just a dark secret he shared with his grandmother.</p><p>"When the visions came and started gettin' real bad, an' I tried to kill myself, she never visited me at the hospital. Because she was getting arrested in a meth lab bust. They'd gotten her on the drugs and I guess they new about her priors. Anyway she won't be out for at least ten years. Maybe more. I'm not sure how it works. Just that Gramma has been the closest thing I've had to a mother most my life." He nodded.</p><p>"She's oblivious to a lot of things. But she's kind. And she's trying harder. She thinks it's her fault mama did what she did. But some of us just... make bad decisions. Some of us are just... cursed." He lamented, not telling Sonny exactly what the double meaning meant but knowing that enough truth had been spilled that there were many others it could be in reference to this evening.</p><p>He winced at the word shoot, but an airy laugh tagged along, his nose scrunching just the same. He knew it was just a joke, and luckily only a visual representation of guns seemed to trigger him.</p><p>He stared at him eagerly, already expecting a juicy story that must have warranted Duncan to borrow his cigarette that was almost burned to its filter. He let it hang under his upper lip as he returned it to its rightful spot.</p><p>It was unreal how much in common they had. The deep, dark secrets they couldn't breathe a word to anyone about without getting some funny looks and possibly a visit to the psych ward, and the addict mothers that cared more about their next high than raising their sons right. Luckily, his mother had his father, otherwise she wouldn't ever have bothered to get clean. He was persistent to keep her off that poison.</p><p>"Ain't that a bite? An' here I was thinkin' I had ya beat with my own motha. She was lookin' for anythin' that could hook her, too. Coke, crystal, happy pills, whateva she could get her claws into. Her pimp got her hooked, but my pops took her outta that life. She had relapses, but when he finally got her straightened out, some punk popped her. Guess my family is all doomed in gettin' shot up."</p><p>He ashed his cigarette into the ground but pocketed the leftovers because he had too much respect for Jackie already to be littering her immaculate lawn.</p><p>"Yunno, I don't believe in fate much, but I'm startin' to think we was suppose to meet. Keep each other from goin' crazy because of our secrets we can't spill to no one."</p><p>Duncan listened to him talk about his own mother and was shocked at how similar their stories were. He truly didn't expect he'd bond this much with Sonny. He just knew when he met him that he was cute and he was being nice to him. He wasn't expecting to see him again really. Even with the explosive painful finale. But here they were. It was like he'd known him for a long time. </p><p>"I'm sorry. But... For the first time I can truly say to someone else I know exactly how you feel." He said, his thumb idly stroking the hand in his without realizing it. He saw him pick up his own cigarette and pocket it, and somehow that was just so sweet. Then he said the thing.</p><p>So he kissed him. Again. Slower this time. But with a little bit of tongue. After a moment he pulled away again, not too much. He just smiled and gave a small nervous laugh.</p><p>"You... should probably go. You keep saying sweet things and I'm really trying to respect my Grams here..." He said with a smile that most people would never see.</p><p>Unlike last time, he was mentally prepared for this kiss, if only because Duncan was leaning in at a glacial pace and looking at him as though he was about to claim him for his own. He met him halfway, unhurried, though the slip of the tongue parting his willing lips made him crave more.</p><p>The kiss was broken not too long after it began, and his pouty lips had taken on a satisfied little smirk. Fuck, he was cute. Too cute for his own good. Maybe he should run for the heels before he got both of them in trouble with Grams.</p><p>"I ain't arguin'. I think your Grams likes me, an' I wanna keep it that way. If I stay, I won't be able to keep my paws off ya foreva." He fished a pen out of the holes of his pockets. He always kept one on hand because he was old school, and you never know when you might need it. Pens last longer than cell phones since they didn't need battery life to function.</p><p>"Gimme ya hand," he said, and when Duncan extended his, he scribbled his digits on his palm. "Call me when ya need to work out your issues."</p><p>He winked at him flirtatiously and headed toward the backdoor they came through in to wave goodbye to Jackie and walk home. But he stopped short of the sliding door, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head until all that could be seen was the unsettling whites of them. He collapsed to the ground, foaming at the mouth and shaking like he was having a seizure but rather it was a violent flashback.</p><p>He saw a gun pointed at his head, and when he looked up in fear, Carlos, his ex-boyfriend, was angrily staring down at him through glassy eyes. He heard a click of the safety button being turned off, and the sound of gunfire.</p><p>When Sonny had come to, he was screaming bloody murder and crying hysterically, probably waking up the neighbors and their dogs and disturbing Jackie from her arts and crafts.</p><p>Duncan watched, a little enamored as the ballpoint of the pen rolled sensually over his palm, like a tiny little massage that left inked numbers in its aftermath. He bit his lip and actually blushed a bit. It was strange being able to show this much emotion with someone and yet... here he was. His body, his face... both betrayed the stoicism he tried so hard to maintain.</p><p>He stood, waving him off with a half smile. But then the boy looked like he suddenly came down with a plague and hit the floor, foam literally coming from his mouth.</p><p>"Shit..." Duncan said at first, and when he started convulsing he ran over. Normally he should be fine. Duncan wanted so hard to be able to keep his cool, but Sonny had become his first real friend he could trust. If not more somewhere down the road. So he could... not keep his cool.</p><p>He ran over and leaned down, frozen mostly out of fear but panicking nonetheless.</p><p>"W-w-w-what's happening? Are you okay?!" He said in a teary eyed panic. When the boy stopped shaking, he sat up and screamed, knocking Duncan back, wide eyed. After the initial panic had stopped, he blinked and slowly sat up.</p><p>"Did you just...?" He asked shakily, slowly recognizing what that might have been. It was then that his grandmother ran outside in her robe.</p><p>"Is everyone alright?!?! I heard a scream and... Why Sonny, did you have a fall? Should I call an ambulance???"</p><p>"N-NO!!!" Duncan interrupted, still shaken. And he was easily triggered by anything relating to hospitals these days.</p><p>"H-He just fell but he's... he's okay. Y-you're okay, right?"</p><p>When Sonny had finally come back down to earth, he was huffing and puffing like he had been holding his breath for several long minutes. Apparently, He had another episode, but this felt so real. They always did.</p><p>His eyes glanced up at Jackie who came rushing outside in her robe. He didn't answer right away, but he wanted to avoid hospitals just as badly as Duncan had, what considering he didn't have a pulse to speak of and doctors might scratch their heads at that.</p><p>"No!" Sonny said, in concert with Duncan's own objection. "S'nothin'. Just bein' dramatic is all. Think I scraped my knee on the concrete here, an' I'm just bein' a big ole baby about it. Sorry if I disturbed ya or anythin'. I should probably get goin' anyhow."</p><p>Jackie looked down at the boy just like a grandmother would, pursing her lips in worry and shaking her head.</p><p>"Are you sure? We can go sit a spell and get your leg bandaged up?" She said with a smile on her face. Duncan had propped himself up and dusted off his own pants, finally able to form a real sentence without a stutter.</p><p>"Thank you Gramma, but I think we'll be okay." He said. He gave her a sweet smile and she accepted it, walking by and kissing his cheek. After she was inside, Duncan helped Sonny up and looked into his eyes, checking to see if he was okay.</p><p>"Did I just... get you back or somethin? That looked an awful lot like a seizure. Or you know... a vision." He said, knowing what the particularly bad ones looked like from his own experience. </p><p>He pulled his hand away after holding Sonny's too long after helping him up.</p><p>"Maybe hookin' up ain't a great idea after all. Seems like we can't even get a kiss without one of us catching an explosive migraine." Duncan said, unsure of what that really meant. But gosh that would be hard. He knew denying themselves something would only increase the desire more.</p><p>"...you gonna be okay to get home? Do ghosts... have a home? Is that insensitive? I'm still learning the etiquette bout that."</p><p>Sonny let Duncan speak on his behalf. He might have kept his cool, but his brain was scattered into fragments after having just relived his horrifying death, and he very much needed to compose himself and pick up the metaphorical pieces left behind.</p><p>When Jackie returned to the house, his eyes searched for Duncan.</p><p>He let Duncan help him on his feet, his legs feeling like jelly that he ended up wobbling against him for support, only easing up when he was confident that he could stand on his own two feet. He shook his head. "Wasn't a vision. It was a flashback. Wasn't lyin' when I said ya was the first boy who hasn't givin' me PTSD." A beat. "Guess I look like a liar now."</p><p>It normally only happened during sex, never something as innocent as a kiss. Maybe touching wasn't a good idea either, and they should keep their hands to themselves, and yet he couldn't help but feel a sting of disappointment shoot through his dead heart when Duncan recoiled from him. Losing his hand in his felt close to losing a limb somehow; he sorely missed it.</p><p>"That ain't ever happen to me before. Usually, I can get passed first base just fine an' dandy." It was a damn shame. The one boy he emotionally connected with in decades, and they couldn't even get psychical without repercussions. He might as well chop off his manhood now with as useless as it was to him. He was a sad excuse of a man.</p><p>He nodded slowly. "I gotta home. Gotta rest my head somewhere, yunno? People don't care much for squatters in their home when they can see ya eatin' their food an' breathin' their air. Don'tcha go cuttin' me any favors an' lose my number, will ya? S'not like I expect ya to call me now after this. No hard feelings." It was probably easier than taking any chances. He didn't know if he could trust himself around Duncan, but he also hated to lose him as a friend when their friendship barely began. Maybe if he was a stronger man, he wouldn't need to push Duncan away.</p><p>As it was, he was already sulking away like a sad puppy, heading for the glass door once more.</p><p>Duncan hated that it felt like the two of them would just be live triggers for each other. Maybe it wasn't the greatest idea to keep tempting fate. And yet, he couldn't help but be just a tiny bit charmed by Sonny's self depreciating humor when he claimed to look like a liar. </p><p>He didn't mean to recoil so fast, but he was freaked out by how pained Sonny looked during his initial flashback. He didn't know ghosts could hurt, but apparently some things could. He usually kept his emotions buried deep, but causing Sonny any more pain would definitely bring a sense of guilt to him he didn't want to nurse.</p><p>But then Sonny seemed so sad. Expecting him not to call. That was such bullshit. Not when they got along so well. Duncan never experienced that. So as he turned away from him, Duncan reached out, flinching at first before grabbing him and pulling him into one more kiss. His shoulders remained tense the whole time, worried that he'd trigger something else in either himself or Sonny, but when nothing happened, he gave him a soft smile and let go as to not tempt fate any longer.</p><p>"...Sometimes the risk is worth the reward." He echoed his words from earlier.</p><p>"I'll text you later."</p><p>Sonny didn't know if it was the seizures that hurt him necessarily, or if it was the fact that it was like he was sprawled out in that room again, facing the end of that gun barrel, and then... lights out. It was traumatic.</p><p>Just as he was about to slide the door open, the tug on his arm beckoned him in the opposite direction, right into Duncan's strong, capable arms. Suddenly, he had forgotten all about his grand plan to stay clear from Duncan, and the valid reasons behind it. All he could think about was those feathery soft lips on his, whisking him away. When their lips parted ways, his eyes lit up, completely bewitched by this practical stranger that he felt like he knew all his life. When the spell was broken, he shyly averted his eyes like a virtuous child with a dirty secret.</p><p>They were tempting fate, but he didn't care.</p><p>"Cool," was all he had the courage to say.</p><p>Fuck, he was like a schoolgirl with a crush and blushing just as vibrant as one. Still, he headed home to his trailer that made a shoebox seem more spacious. He crashed on his bed like a sad lump of potatoes, and though tonight was mentally draining (even for a ghost), he had just enough energy to unzip his fly to relieve an erection that was begging for attention since Duncan first kissed him, and he only had his dear, handsome face in mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Netflix and Chills</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Duncan and Sonny attempt to have a steamy date, but their individual traumas have other plans.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, Sonny was eagerly checking his phone, trying not to look disappointed when he didn't see any new messages pop up. Maybe Duncan had second thoughts. He guessed he shouldn't have been surprised, but he was. He thought they had something special, a real connection, even if they were forced to keep it strictly platonic for both their sake.</p><p>Duncan couldn't really respond to the 'Cool' because he was on a little high of his own. It was rare to connect with someone like that. He didn't want to ruin it with stupid words, so he just waved him off with a smile that nobody else really would get to see. </p><p>And when he reached his own bed he realized he had nothing to say. Nothing cool. He agonized over the perfect message for hours, but because he was so goddamn mental (like literally) he just kept erasing everything. Before he knew what happened, he'd passed out.</p><p>When his alarm went off in the morning, he rolled over and saw he just had a 'Hey' typed out but unsent. Knowing it sounded incredibly lame, but not sure what else to say, he just sent it. Then he got ready because he had a World Lit class in an hour and he was desperately clinging to any shred of normalcy that he could.</p><p>If ghosts could blush, there likely would have been a flush a pinkish red surfacing to his cheeks about now. He was like a schoolgirl with a crush, and though a 'Hey' was so noncommittal, and he longed for something more meaningful, it was somehow perfect, and at least it showed Duncan was thinking about him and keeping his promise.</p><p>He tried to text back, but he couldn't think of a word to say, and his damn cell phone kept auto correcting everything. It was aggravating as hell. He smacked his phone as if he could decree it into better behavior. It didn't work, so he decided a phone call was easier, and frankly his personal preference anyway.</p><p>After dialing it out, he waited for Duncan to answer. "What's with ya kids an' textin' these days? Takes too long, an' I much rather have your cute voice in my ear anyways."</p><p>Duncan let everything settle with the strange nerves of sending a goddamn text message and after a short shower and getting dressed, he threw on a hoodie and started walking to campus. Thing about Wickary was... it was a small town. Basically the college campus was half of it. The people that lived there mostly lived out in the woods surrounding the town, but there were a few close enough to practically be within walking distance of everything. Jackie thought it best for Duncan to be near things he could do, so of course she got one of the closer houses, so Duncan tended to walk everywhere. To school and work and back home again. So he walked, headphones plugged into his phone listening to some music when suddenly it started to ring.</p><p>He looked at the phone and raised his eyebrow. Sonny was calling. </p><p>He placed the phone to his ear slowly and answered, unsure of what to say.</p><p>"H-hello?" He asked. Sonny's response was exactly what he should have expected from a ghost that should be a grandpa by now. He smirked and shook his head.</p><p>"Most of us are anti-social assholes. Like me." He said almost teasing. </p><p>"But uh... what brings you to call me? I mean... other than the fact that my kisses were so good they made you literally foam at the mouth?" He teased in what might be an uncharacteristically flirtatious tone, but when you'd already had sex with someone what more could they judge you upon?</p><p>"Ya didn't seem to have any trouble socializin' yesterday," he teased right back, stretching his arm to find his pack of cigarettes he left on the table. He really did smoke like a chimney, but when you didn't have worry about contracting lung cancer, it was just as harmless as drinking gallons of water every day.</p><p>"Ya got me under your thumb, that's why. Wanted to know if ya was lookin' to hang tonight, see if one of our heads explodes, test the water. An' I know ya have a nasty habit of kissin' me whenever, so we'll heel it somewhere ya might be too shy to. I'd suggest the pastor's church, but I got a feelin' he won't even let us through the door."</p><p>Duncan smirked a bit, shoving his free hand in his pocket while he walked along the road talking into his phone.</p><p>"Well I figure you know most of my dirty secrets and what my dick looks like so why be shy?" He mused a bit. A fact that was true. The only thing Sonny didn't know about him at this point was the truth about his father. He wasn't sure he'd ever be ready to tell anyone about that part. </p><p>"I... understood just about every third word you just said." Duncan said bluntly, teasing him. He'd hoped the boy had picked up the difference in tone in his voice by now. It was subtle, but it was there.</p><p>"Well I have classes all day but... I'm off tonight. Do you... have somewhere you live? Haunt? Uh... I'm unsure of the logistics here." Duncan said, tapping his pinkie against the bottom of the phone.</p><p>"Cause I might foam at the mouth again, or ya might bleed at me," Sonny answered honestly, and though those were very valid reasons to be scared of being alone with Duncan again, he couldn't help the slow blooming smile that spread out thin across his face. No wonder he didn't live to see his thirties; he had a habit of getting into trouble with other boys.</p><p>Sonny did have a better understanding of Duncan's humor, so he didn't take any offense to the playful jab at his speech.</p><p>"I gotta place. S'not much, but she's home," he commented, patting the wall behind him as if he somehow personified his tin can trailer into a Labrador.</p><p>"I'll text ya the address an' ya can stop by wheneva," he mused, hanging up his phone to do just that. It took him a painstakingly long amount of time. His thumbs were much too big to be punching in all those small buttons right. No wonder why Apple kept making the screens bigger every year.</p><p>Duncan pursed his lips, shrugging when Sonny said that his home wasn't much. He didn't care. Sonny should've seen what poor people lived in back in Pikeville.</p><p>"Don't worry. I grew up in a small, even poorer town where the people drove pick up trucks that looked like rusty old propane tanks. I'm sure your place will be great." He said, looking up as the front door to the building his classes were in loomed before him. </p><p>"Okay. I uh... I'll see you later okay?" He smiled as he hung up the phone. </p><p>A few hours went by. He had his Lit and Mythology classes. Plus a math class because prereq's were... the stupidest. As he promised, Sonny sent his address. Duncan arrived earlier than he'd thought, as it was barely after five pm. The sun was starting to fall slowly as it was getting later in the year, but even if it was after sundown Duncan wasn't afraid of the town like some of the other locals were. Most other locals didn't have a secret deathwish. Still, the trailer park didn't scare him as much as it did some others. Rumor has it this was the scene of the murders, as well as some other shady dealings. It shouldn't be so surprising that a ghost lived here as well.</p><p>He knocked, shoving his hands into his pockets as he leaned against the side of the trailer, one foot on his little stoop as he awaited Sonny's appearance.</p><p>In actuality, Sonny had classes that morning as well, but he was playing hooky for the day because he didn't care to go. Maybe he should. It was important if he ever expected to have a future, but he wasn't expecting to have a future. At the end of the day, he was a ghost, and he was on burrowed time. One day he might go to that daunting other side called the afterlife.</p><p>The trailer park was a perfect spot for someone like Sonny. He could keep a low profile, and he had rare connections at his disposal that made it possible for him to have an actual identity to attend school. ID, social security card, the works. All illegal documents of course. But he didn't need anyone asking questions or snooping through his real records only to find out he had a death certificate.</p><p>Sonny had just stepped out of the shower when he heard a knock at his door. He didn't exactly have time to get dressed, so he tied a towel to his waist to make himself look half decent at least before his bare feet began a small journey to answer the door. When he opened it, he grinned his usual charming smile that could give John Travolta a run for his money.</p><p>"Thought you'd be here a lil later. Was gonna get all dolled up for ya an' everythin'," he said with a cheeky smile. But since he was here, he pulled open the door for him to enter freely and closed it behind him once he made his way inside.</p><p>His trailer was small, but it wasn't trashy or cluttered like one might expect in this neighborhood, mostly because he didn't have or needed much in his possession, and there was hardly a cent in his name. There was a bed, a small TV that needed an antenna to work, and a small booth that served as dining area. He only had the essentials of living, minus the TV, but that was only to cure his boredom.</p><p>"Make yourself comfortable while I get dressed," he said, disappearing into the bathroom without bothering to completely shut the door.</p><p>Duncan looked him up and down, the way the water trickled down his surprisingly jacked body for such a skinny... uh... ghost. He pursed his lips and looked up at Sonny's face, raising an eyebrow. He had to wonder if he was truly just showering or if it was just part of his plan. But he still offered a smile and stepped inside. </p><p>"I did too. But town is... small and I have kinda long legs so..." He joked a bit, sliding his bag off into a chair and sitting back on his bed, looking around.</p><p>"Well looks like you never made it past the fifties issues of Better Homes and Gardens as well." He said in his monotone, but offered a sly smile when Sonny looked back at him.</p><p>"I brought my laptop if you wanted to try doing the millenial thing of Netflix and Chill." He said, kicking his feet back and forth on the bed.</p><p>Contrary to what Duncan might believe, answering the door half naked wasn't part of his grand plan all along. Duncan didn't exactly give him a time frame on when he thought he might be showing up, and while Sonny was a ghost, he was corporeal, and dust and grime and God knows what else clung to him like a magnet as much as it would a human.</p><p>"Legs for days, baby," he agreed with a smile before disappearing into the bathroom. He changed into a simple white t-shirt and pair of black denim jeans, but since he left the door ajar, and the walls were paper thin anyway, he was able to hear every monotone word Duncan said.</p><p>"Never saw the point in makin' my place look like Martha Stewart threw up in it. I got all I need right here." He also came from a time where having a television or a radio was a actual privilege.</p><p>"Netflix an' Chill? Ain't that usual code for sex? Had a date once that asked me that. Thought he just didn't like watchin' scary movies alone, but then he got handsy an' explained that's what it meant."</p><p>Duncan took off his jacket and tossed it with his bag and then leaned on his side on the bed, looking over at Sonny with a lopsided smile as he looked at the bare walls.</p><p>"No big deal. It's uh... Spartan. Back in the day warrior type guys would just live off of what they needed. And from what I gather, you's a tuff guy." He winced, that last part a failed attempt at Sonny's charming New Yorker accent. </p><p>"I'm studying Mythology. It's interestin'. It's nice to see that there's a whole big world out there that isn't a small shitty American town." He nodded. But then he brought up the actual meaning of Netflix and Chill and Duncan rightfully blushed. He'd figured with how oblivious Sonny had been he'd not have heard of it.</p><p>"I mean... yeah. But considerin' our complications, it can also mean just watchin' movies and eatin' pizza. I just like being myself around someone for once."</p><p>Sonny was fascinated with history, and not just from his time, so he was genuinely intrigued that Duncan knew about Spartans. "Yeah, I know what a Spartan is. They was tuff guys. Growin' up they were forced to find their own food an' sleep in the dirt. It was part of their trainin' program."</p><p>He moved to perch himself next to Duncan on the bed. "I'm studyin' history. Guess that shouldn't surprise ya, but it's an easy A, an' learnin' the culture of the folks before my time is a lot betta than tryin' to understand ya kids today." Maybe it was ignorant, but he was old and set in his ways like any stubborn grandfather would be.</p><p>"Righto. Was startin' to think I was overdressed an' shoulda opened the door without a towel on my cushion," he teased.</p><p>"I got free wifi thanks to a guy I know, otherwise we might be sittin' here twiddlin' our thumbs or fiddlin' with the antenna to getta signal. Whatcha got lined up for us?" Sonny asked, wondering what they were going to watch. He honestly didn't care what it was; he was just happy Duncan put some thought into this and wanted to spend time with him, even after he practically had a seizure on his lawn. That was more courtesy than most people extended him, so he sprawled out on his mattress and made himself comfortable, sticking to his side of the bed so Duncan had plenty of room for himself.</p><p>"They also often were lovers with their fightin' partners. Believed you'd fight harder for someone you loved." Duncan nodded. There was a certain tragic romance to it. Fight to the death with the person you loved by your side. Of course Greek society was a lot more complex than that. They'd often have wives too, not necessarily out of love but out of necessity. Or it could be both. Polyamory wasn't a new thing. Duncan had to admit that idea intrigued him. </p><p>"I didn't know that. That's... that's really cool." Duncan said sincerely, not knowing that Sonny was into anything intellectual. He supposed he'd made a snap judgement that he was just a meathead. And he did find that charming, he just wasn't aware how many layers the young ghost had. </p><p>"Ah. I forgot about that. Luckily growin' up in the country my whole life I taught my Grams the power of mobile hotspots so we always have it on our phone plan. So I got a backup in any case." Duncan said, reaching over and grabbing the bag and tugging out his laptop. </p><p>"Uh... I don't know yet. I don't want to trigger anything for you. What kind of things do you like? I'm kind of a sci-fi nerd myself. Did... did you want something to eat? We have like... one pizza place in town, but they DO deliver everywhere because... hey, small town." He smiled, laying back on the bed next to him. He noticed the distance put between them and looked over at Sonny.</p><p>"...still wary, huh?" He asked, pulling up his browser.</p><p>"Me too in a way."</p><p>"I can get with it," was all he said. Sonny knew all about sparring with lovers. Hell, Carlos was part of a rival gang, and sometimes they did more than just argue about whose side they should really be on, but it made the passion between them that more intense.</p><p>"What? That I ain't got no egg for a brain? Ya really think I'm just charisma with good skin? I got jets, kid. Had to find somethin' to do when I was just vapor in a antville." Those were a miserable handful of decades that had gone by, where literature and television was his only friend.</p><p>"I ain't picky, just nothin' with guns. An' I wouldn't say no to a pizza. I'll even foot the bill. Least I can do for takin' up all your time today." Maybe Duncan didn't have any friends and he desperately could use them as much as him, but he didn't need to agree to come here at all after last night, and he more than appreciated that.</p><p>When he called attention to the large gap between them and, not to mention, the pillow he wedged in the middle to serve as a body barrier, he disgracefully looked away from him. He hoped he wasn't offended, and while there was plenty of moments he wanted to risk it and find any excuse to touch him, he was a little afraid of the harrowing repercussions.</p><p>"S'not like I haven't thought about throwin' caution to the wind and kissin' ya anyways. Just thought we deserve one night without the risk, yunno?" Sonny nervously admitted, fidgeting with his own fingers that suddenly were aching for a cigarette.</p><p>Duncan's own words echoed in his head from last night: sometimes risk is worth the reward.</p><p>Duncan's face went flush and he nodded. Sonny was super in tune with him. They'd really not known each other that long and yet the young ghost could read him like a book. Even if Duncan could only understand about half of what he was saying in that whimsical voice of his. </p><p>"You're full of surprises. I kinda like that." Duncan said softly. He pulled up his laptop and went to the website for the pizza parlor, filling out an online order for the two of them. </p><p>"What if the guns are used to fight say... mutant sharks?" Duncan smiled, looking over at him. He had to admit, he had a thing for just terrible science fiction. </p><p>Upon hearing Sonny's explanation of the barrier, he gave him a look that held many emotions. Sonny was surprisingly introspective. He was thoughtful and a little bit of a romantic. Those were all very appealing. </p><p>"Honestly I can't pet a kitten without risking seeing shitty things. It's... my curse. But it also gave me the ability to trust you, because I would never have known your secret without it. And I'm... very grateful to have someone I can talk so openly about the weird parts of my life." He said with a smile.</p><p>"If you want to stay safely on that side of the bed, that's cool. We'll eat pizza and watch terrible movies. But I'm okay with poppin' more Tylenol for you if you change your mind." He grinned. He hit finish on the order and turned to him once more.</p><p>"It'll be here in 30."</p><p>Nothing made his heart skip an actual beat than Duncan's slow, easing smile that he had a sneaking suspicion he only reserved for very few people, and he just joined the exclusive club. He couldn't help but wonder if it was only his grandmother and him so far that ever had the pleasure of witnessing these rare moments where Duncan let his guard down and revealed his true self to, or was there others in his life that brought out that soft side in him? Either way, he was grateful to be a part of it.</p><p>"Can't say, Red. If those mutant sharks end up in a hospital, wouldya stick around to watch 'em?" Sonny mused, trying to make a valid point in a way he would understand. </p><p>"Here's a kicker. How's about we watch Sparta since we knows so much about 'em? We can poke fun at all the historical inaccuracies an' talk drool lookin' at all the hotties with spears," he thoughtfully suggested.</p><p>Sonny knew all too well what a relief it was to have someone he could be completely open with. It was much easier keeping a secret when you had at least one person to vent to.</p><p>He turned to his side, his slender mouth curling into a knowing smile. "You're tellin' me. When I found out ya weren't gonna squawk, felt like I was breathin' air again." He felt other things, too, but it was better to keep that to himself because it would only make the physical distance harder to bear.</p><p>He pursed his lips and thought on it. It was tempting to just throw himself at Duncan, but he wanted to see how long they can last without any physical contact. Maybe they could compromise. "Got an idea," Sonny said with a snap of his fingers, rolling off the bed in a hurry.</p><p>He rummaged through his closet for his favorite leather jacket and shrugged it on, zipping it closed, then he grabbed a pair of biker gloves that was in his pockets and slipped them on. "There. Least we can cuddle now. Unless ya too hip for that," he teased, sliding back into bed with him and discarding the pillow to the side so Duncan could lay his head on him if he wanted.</p><p>Duncan smiled and nodded, thinking about how hospital scenes in movies really affected him. He supposed at a distance they were fine. As long as he was not the one being brought back in then he could watch. It's not like he was going to ever go full Jacob's Ladder with his movie watching. </p><p>"Oooh. 300 it is. The movie that awakened many a modern boy to their latent sexual questioning." He said, searching for the movie online. He got very in tune with his quest that he barely noticed when he got up, but when he came back with the gloves, he thought about it a moment, then blushed.</p><p>"That's... a clever idea. I mean... it's much less likely to trigger a vision without skin contact." He surmised. He was capable of having them without, but usually only when it was an unrelated vision sent down by daddy at an inopportune time or when he saw something leftover from a traumatic experience (like say a peak of Caleb's scar tissue). But he was certain he was well past seeing Sonny's scars. So he sat the laptop on the side of the bed and let the movie start, then scooted over and laid under Sonny's arm, taking his hand and playing with the glove idly. </p><p>"You still have a bike?" He asked, noting all the leather. He wasn't sure if it was all for show or if it was for actual use. Though he supposed being dead he didn't have much need for protection from motorcycle crashes.</p><p>"S'worth a shot," Sonny agreed, nodding as he flexed his gloved hands. "Maybe we'll trick our knuckleheads into thinkin' we just feelin' thread an' not each other." Maybe it wasn't a permanent solution to their obvious problem, but it might be the loophole they were searching for, and as long as Sonny could have physical contact with Duncan in some capacity, without leaving it to luck to not screw them over with punishing seizures and nosebleed-inducing headaches, it sufficed him enough. But his circumstances with Duncan was a revelation. Before him, only sex was a trigger, a gamble. Now that any skin-to-skin contact was off the table, it made him appreciate the radiating warmth that, despite the barrier of clothes, made Duncan feel like a running furnace against his body.</p><p>Sonny watched him paw at his gloves with amusement. "Out back, but she ain't workin'. Hopin' I can fix her up soon when I got the greens for it. She's gonna be my Grease Lightning," Sonny mused, making a reference to the only musical that reminded him of home. He was low on cash. The diner didn't pay much, and the cost of living was expensive as hell, so he wouldn't have his motorcycle up and running for awhile. Maybe it was easier when he was incorporeal and could easily mooch off others for free without them ever knowing he was there, and traveling from point A to point B was always easier when he was intangible.</p><p>While Duncan was feeling out his gloves, his bright gaze turned to glance down at his scarred wrists that no longer bore a rubber band, and he was helpless not to smile to himself at that, pleased that he was breaking out of the habit of wearing them. As if to draw attention to it without words, he silently caressed his scars with a gloved finger, following the long trail of damaged skin from the start to finish.</p><p>"Maybe we can take her for a spin sometime when I get her runnin' right, somewhere outta this crazy town." A road trip could do them both some good, but it might be a long time coming, a pipe dream even.</p><p>"I mean... if worse comes to worse I don't mind a headache. But I also don't want to make you relive your bad moments." Duncan said sincerely. He wondered if it really was his fault that Sonny had a triggering violent memory of his past, if that was just a part of his growing power that he had just started to manifest, that he had yet to control. If it was, it sucked. He'd touched plenty of people and hadn't caused anything like this to happen. He had to wonder if Sonny was more in tune with his psychic wavelengths on account of being a spirit and all. But what was worse is how it just made him want to pursue whatever this was more. A cosmic fuck you to his father complicating his life with these stupid abilities. </p><p>Duncan continued playing with the glove, listening to him describe his bike, snorting when the name Grease Lightning came up. </p><p>"You're really milkin' the hell outta that 50's thing." He mused, not really noticing that Sonny had zeroed in on his wrist. He only found the attention when he felt the gloved fingertip ghost along his scar. </p><p>"That would be cool. I don't really get to travel much." He said, his breath hitching a bit as he turned, looking into Sonny's eyes. His heart beat fast. He couldn't help himself, he leaned in and kissed him. But then he prepared himself and winced, but nothing happened. Still, they both pulled away in the end, and he laid back on his chest.</p><p>"This is gonna be harder than I thought." He lamented. But he was glad to know that every time they got close to intimate didn't necessarily mean they'd trigger something in the other.</p><p>"The 50s were great. Don't go hatin' on my era," he mused, journeying his padded finger along his scar, and it was as though he found something to admire in it. Maybe because, even though he had no visible scars himself, he had plenty of emotional ones. They both were tragically damaged, beautiful messes.</p><p>Suddenly, their eyes met intensely, and when Duncan kissed him, he responded in kind, his lips parting with a appreciative noise that sounded like a half-sigh, half-groan. Fuck, they really shouldn't be doing this, and he ripped away from him just as quickly.</p><p>He licked his own lips, remembering the taste of him that already felt like a distant memory. Expecting a direct consequence, he grimaced and braced himself for a chain reaction, but no seizures came to rain on his parade. It was good to know they wouldn't tempt fate every time, but it was still like playing with fire. One of these times, they were going to get burned.</p><p>His leather-clothed fingers caressed the spot where Duncan's lips had just been, and it gave him an idea. "Maybe it don't hafta to be."</p><p>He rolled out from beneath Duncan, propped himself on his elbow and leveled eyes with him. "Ya trust me?" Maybe it was a silly question to ask someone he only met once before yesterday, but somehow he knew the answer would be a yes.</p><p>But in case Duncan didn't know what he was buckling up for, he tentatively sneaked his gloved hand beneath the canopy of his shirt, ghosting a path to his navel. There was plenty of things they could do without ever needing to actually copulate.</p><p>His hand didn't go any further than his belly button, in case Duncan thought it was bad idea. Instead, he watched patiently for his reaction.</p><p>"Yeah. Cept for the racism and asbestos and threat of nuclear war. Which... doesn't sound that much different than now..." Duncan mused. But before long they were kissing, a little bit of tongue and a tiny groan following. But they both grew scared. Their individual reactions to one another was bad enough, and it was at random so they never knew when it would happen again. It was like they had an unfortunate case of PTSD for intimacy with the other. </p><p>Duncan was actually visibly disappointed for once. He had a habit of keeping his face hard to read, but Sonny took his guard down in the most unexpected way, which is why it was so dramatically ironic that physical intimacy with the other could hurt one or both of them. </p><p>"What ya mean?" He asked curiously, propping himself up on his elbows as well. Then Sonny's gloved hand disappeared under his shirt, guiding a path down to his pale belly button decorated by fine happy trail hairs that were a strawberry blonde. He got a chill, then blushed lightly looking up at him.</p><p>"...I trust you." He said, unsure of what came next.</p><p>God, he wanted to touch him―really touch him, at that, but he was forced to get more creative because, alas, they couldn't do anything skin on skin without throwing caution to the wind.</p><p>So he lowered his hand to undo his fly, the sound of the zipper teeth separating broke the silence. That same leather-covered hand stalled momentarily, as if to make sure it was all right to continue, before it slid beyond the point of no return, beneath the thin material of Duncan's boxers, wrapping his clothed hand around the base of him. Gently, and perhaps too cautiously, he began a slow, easy stroke.</p><p>He just wanted him to feel good, even if he couldn't return the favor. Sonny wanted to hear those little sighs and groans of approval.</p><p>Duncan watched curiously, certain he had a good idea where he was going with this, but still just as excited all the same. That leather clad hand slid inside his pants and pulled out his erection, sliding up and down while the two maintained eye contact with each other. He reflexively reached out, but stopped short of his face, remembering the whole purpose of why they were doing it like this. No headaches. no seizures. The less contact the better.</p><p>Fuck that blows.</p><p>But Duncan still whimpered in appreciation all the same, mouth agape as he watched. </p><p>"D-do you have another pair?" He asked, not wanting to be some spoiled person, wanting to touch Sonny all the same, even if they were trying not to risk anything dangerous.</p><p>Sonny almost forgotten about the no kissing rule. He nearly met him halfway as he noticed him leaning in but froze a hair away from his face, his lips hovering ever so closely to his where they would have to stay.</p><p>He didn't mind if this remained one-sided; Duncan's reaction was all the reward he needed, despite the terrible strain causing a dent through his denim jeans.</p><p>When Duncan inquired if there was an extra pair of gloves, he nodded. "Left pocket. Always keep a spare on me." Why? Who the fuck knew. Maybe he just had a secret fetish for leather. Sonny was a baby boomer, after all.</p><p>Duncan did lean in, and their lips were so close to touching, but they stopped. It was torturous. But it caused an even larger sense of longing than he was used to. He kept his eyes locked on Sonny's face as he reached for his spare gloves, then struggled to put them on as he felt the slick leather still sliding up and down his sex. </p><p>But his first actions when they were on was not to reach for Sonny's member. It was to touch his face. He leaned in, still not kissing him. Just breathing. Breathing heavy. Shivering while his thumb slid across Sonny's cheek. They didn't dare kiss in case they caused another violent vision in the other, so they instead substituted the eye contact. The sharp, hot breaths against each other's lips. It was the most intense connection he'd honestly had with someone else. Sex was a distraction. This was... something else.</p><p>Duncan tugged Sonny up on the bed and took off his shirt, removing his own in the process. Then they lay together, staring into each other's eyes as one hand reached down to stroke the other, while his free hand continued to caress his ghostly lover's face. </p><p>This was new. This was different. This was something beyond just sex.</p><p>The kiss he longed for never came―it couldn't―and though it drove him up the wall, the limitations somehow made the things they could do so much more intense. God, it was almost embarrassing how hard Sonny was, how he was already leaking through his jeans without Duncan ever needing to touch him down there.</p><p>When Duncan brought his freshly gloved hand to his cheek, he leaned into his touch, his eyes falling closed for the briefest moment. Fuck, he was panting loudly for a guy who didn't actually need the value of air. He was completely consumed by him.</p><p>He only removed his hand long enough from his need to allow Duncan to help him peel off his jacket and shirt underneath before he had done the same. Then Duncan urged him back on the bed, cascading over him like a angel sent from heaven itself, careful not to touch any part of their bodies that wasn't shielded by clothes.</p><p>With one hand wrapped around him again to finish what he started, the other mimicked Duncan's actions, cradling his cheek as he lost himself in those memorizing, emerald green eyes. He had the urge to kiss him again, but they had come this far―there was no point in spoiling it now.</p><p>"Duncan..." Up until now, Sonny had only called him by the nickname he dubbed him with, Red, but his voice was so cracked and strained with arousal, he might have not even heard him clearly.</p><p>"...I want you," Sonny practically whined, his covered groin rubbing insistently against him.</p><p>The air between them was thick and heavy. He wanted so desperately to just risk everything again. After all, they'd had sex once. It ended badly and he felt the literal bullet go into his brain, and while that was the most pain he'd ever experienced from a vision, he kept thinking about what he said. The risk is worth the reward. </p><p>But this moment. He wouldn't ruin it. There was something else happening right now. </p><p>He wrapped his own gloved hand around Sonny's throbbing member, able to use the dampness he leaked as a lubricant to pump him all the same. And he just gazed into those blue grey eyes, then down at his pink lips that panted despite not needing the oxygen required to do so. </p><p>"I know..." He agreed, leaning in just a little closer, as if to feel whatever heat his ghostly body was able to emit instead of being able to touch his flesh.</p><p>"I do too..." He nodded, shuddering a bit. He felt a little heat grow in his pelvis, knowing he might not be far off from completion.</p><p>"I will kiss you. Once. When the moment is right. Okay?" He shivered, asking permission before anything else happened.</p><p>Sonny didn't know whether to be grateful that Duncan didn't kiss him out of caution or scream straight in his gorgeous face for not bothering to take the chance.</p><p>The risk was worth the reward, wasn't it? No, it was better to starve themselves off, at least until the long-awaited finale.</p><p>He didn't know when Duncan moved past decency and freed his own erection, but the moment his hand was wrapped around him, his breath hitched with anticipation. The addition of his dampness made the leather slide oh so easily along the long column of his member, and he moaned Duncan's name like a prayer, his only salvation.</p><p>Then Duncan promised to kiss him, and it took every ounce of his internal strength not to seal the deal himself, right then and there, but he only nodded in agreement.</p><p>"Not until we... yonno," he rasped softly, knowing Duncan knew what he could barely communicate when he was this close to crossing that finish line, every syllable was a chore to belt out. His slow meticulous strokes quickened, only wanting to hurry this along because the sooner they were done, the sooner they could kiss because, at that point, they had no more leverage to hold against them.</p><p>A burning was spreading to his groin, a telltale sign that his release was just around the corner.</p><p>"Fuck, I'm gonna―" Sonny bit his lip, though it didn't do him much good when he couldn't feel the sting of it to distract himself.</p><p>"Kiss me," Sonny begged him. "Kissmekissmekissme." If he didn't do it anytime soon, Sonny would take matters into his own hands.</p><p>Duncan was starting to bead sweat on his forehead. He wasn't sure when the temperature got so hot in here. He supposed it wasn't that hot, it was probably a cool 60 degrees outside. But then again Sonny was a ghost so maybe he really didn't need an AC. Likely, it was the movement. The anticipation. The want. It moved through him like lightning, electricity. He nodded to Sonny, agreeing that the moment would be the end. So even if it triggered something, it would be well worth it. </p><p>He still lingered near his lips, each hot breath a little slower and shakier than the last. He upped his speed, tugging and pulling Sonny's erection with his slick leather glove faster and faster, hoping he could bring him to just as much a satisfying conclusion as he suspected his own would be. He began to rock, thrusting into Sonny's fist, his free hand clenching Sonny's face. A bead of sweat in the corner of his eye, burning, but he never stopped looking at him. </p><p>"M-Me too..." He whispered out. He felt it rising. The heat. The pressure.</p><p>And that's when he kissed him, hard yet soft at the same time. Just the right amount of pressure. Just the right amount of tongue. A gentle scrape of teeth along his pillowy lower lip. He jerked forward, his ejaculate spilling onto Sonny's pelvic bone. He never broke that kiss until he was sure both of them had finished. Until that debt from before had been repaid. </p><p>His lips only pulled away from the kiss after several moments when he was startled by a loud wrapping at the door.</p><p>He chuckled, stroking Sonny's face gently.</p><p>"...uh... pizza's here."</p><p>They were both close to sweet, divine release. He matched his pace, his palm sliding up and down his girth faster and faster, wanting him to plummet to the heavens with him.</p><p>Maybe it was because a kiss to them was like forbidden fruit, which made the heinous act itself taste so much sweeter, but something about their tongues dancing against each other heightened his orgasm, and he cried out into the caverns of his mouth as he was hollowed out, his lukewarm seed detonating into his leathered hand.</p><p>Sonny might have been spent, but he was not fulfilled. His tongue was in high demand, begging for a companion, sliding against his as he captured his face between his hands now that they served their purpose.</p><p>He didn't know how much time had passed, only comprehending what mattered. Duncan. His knees grazed his sides, and just when he was certain they beat their curse and he was going to suggest they give way to the real thing, there was a knock on the door.</p><p>"So it gets cold," he joked, shrugging as he raised up to kiss him again. But he knew it was best they stopped before they got greedy and they pushed their luck.</p><p>"Stay solid," he said with a grin, rolling out from beneath him. He grabbed an old, dirty shirt lying around on the dresser to wipe up the mess they made, then he pulled his pants up to answer the door and pay for their pizza.</p><p>He made small talk with the delivery boy, mostly to get him to stop staring at him like he knew what went on beyond those tin can walls. He probably heard the noise before he bothered to knock. Sonny wasn't shy about it. He made a joke how they were watching a movie and tipped him well for the inconvenience of making him wait, then he kicked the door behind him closed and returned to his bed with the pizza.</p><p>He grinned at Duncan. "Nice and hot, just like ya."</p><p>They laid there for just a few more moments, stealing a few more dangerous kisses before Sonny finally decided not to make the poor boy wait on the other side of the thin metal door. And for the first time, Duncan couldn't stop smiling. Sex used to be so clinical to him. You have it to forget. To take away your pain. Don't let people too close because they would gain power. But this wasn't sex. In the literal sense, yeah, but also it felt a little more spiritual. Maybe because Sonny was a literal spirit, who knows?</p><p>He raised his eyebrow at the stay solid comment, before looking down at his shrinking erection. "Do you mean..." He asked, looking down at it once more. He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to Sonny's strange way of talking. </p><p>Duncan slowly peeled off the soiled gloves, tossing them to the side as Sonny returned to the bed. He leaned over and peppered his lips with small short bursts of kisses.</p><p>"I think we can game the system if we don't linger too long." He said with a little happy grin. He rolled his eyes at his silly flirtatious comment.</p><p>"You are beyond corny." He said, but his lips furled into another secret smile as he pulled out a piece of the thin, square cut pizza and nibbled around the edges. </p><p>"Luckily we just missed a bunch of boring exposition. But we are tuning just in time for the violence and gratuitous almost-nudity." Duncan mused, looking at Sonny from the corner of his eye as they settled next to each other to watch the movie.</p><p>The flurry of kisses were met with pleasant surprise, and one hand left the warm pizza box to caress his face, his lips curling within the kiss. He still had his gloves on, and while it was probably a safer option to keep them on, he wanted to put out a feeler, test out how long or often they could touch without opening up a can of worms and ruining everything.</p><p>"I think you're gonna be dangerous for my health, Red," he responded, and despite the gravity of that statement, the gospel truth of it, he couldn't seem to care, and all he could manage to cook up was a lovestruck smile.</p><p>Sonny simply responded with tongue-in-cheek grin. He was beyond corny, but he was certain Duncan was fond of that quality in him. At the end of the day, Sonny was a young man who never got a chance to grow up, and while he talked like he was beyond his years sometimes, there was that childlike innocence that remained fully intact.</p><p>He nestled close to Duncan, stealing himself a slice of pizza to nibble on. "I'm glad ya came over. Wasn't sure ya would."</p><p>Duncan smiled gently, his teeth tugging on a little string of cheese from the pizza as he looked at Sonny. He supposed that was another reason why the two got along so well. They'd both been through a lot, but both maintained some sort of sense of child-like wonder. Duncan's presented itself as more pessimistic at times, but when you've seen so much death and destruction projected like a film reel directly into your brain, wouldn't you? He still at times had a gullible naivety about him. Show him an ounce of kindness and he'd move mountains for you. </p><p>"Why wouldn't I? I uh... don't have too many friends. People in this town just know me through rumors. The gossip they heard about me through little old bitties my grandma grew up with. The assumptions they make when they see my scars or my 'seizures.' It's nice to have someone that sees me as a person." He nodded. He tempted fate just a little by curling up next to him while they idly stared at his laptop screen. Cuddling was different than sex. It was less about passion, more about comfort. He'd learned that passion was more likely to cause a troubling vision than anything else. </p><p>"You treat me better than I think I deserve sometimes. I'll come over until you won't have me any more."</p><p>Sonny shot him a sad smile. It was heartbreaking to think how many people were so quick to misjudge Duncan. But hadn't he done the same when he stalked him all week just to find out his endgame? Fuck, but he would do it all over again just to meet him in the same exact way.</p><p>He didn't shrink away from him when he curled up next to him, instead he gambled himself, inching into his side and wrapping his arm about his waist.</p><p>The fact Duncan was already assuming he'd grow sick of him eventually made him quick to prove him wrong, and he turned with one hand resting on his cheek, leaning in to extended him a reassuring kiss that was dangerously slow, especially for them, but he was willing to court danger if only just this once.</p><p>"S'not gonna happen. I'm always gonna want ya around," Sonny assured him.</p><p>All at once, he established what was very much meaningful eye contact, and it was as if nothing else existed outside of that two-by-four trailer. "Stay with me tonight. We don't hafta do anythin' ya don't wanna, I just... want ya here until ya hafta split."</p><p>Duncan played it cool, idly peeling at the cheese and little flecks of ground sausage on his pizza. But inside he felt warm that Sonny was willing to risk terrifying visions and PTSD just to wrap an arm around him. Even more so when he kissed him again. He supposed the danger was part of the excitement. He totally understood why some people got off on playing Russian Roulette now. Though he supposed there was less pressure when he would likely survive the gunshot to the head, since it was all in his mind at the end of the day. Still didn't feel great.</p><p>"I..." He started to speak, but the air was knocked from his lungs. He wasn't used to people wanting to spend time with him after they'd gotten what they wanted. It was a strange but welcome change of pace.</p><p>"...Okay. I mean I have like two classes and I have to work tomorrow night. But... I'll stay." He said before hiding his face with his slice of pizza to conceal the almost shy smile blooming there.</p><p>It wasn't often that someone could make Sonny feel like your typical school girl, flushed cheeks and all, but Duncan had a endearing air about him. He was reserved without being boring, sarcastic without being needlessly rude, and intelligent without being high and mighty about it.</p><p>He watched in pure amusement as Duncan hid his smile behind his sausage pizza as he agreed to stay over, and he couldn't help but respond with an especially bashful smile of his own. Fuck, he use to be so good at playing it cool, a real player in his days, but he didn't know how to possibly do that around Duncan. Maybe because he could see right through him, or the glaring fact that he knew his deepest, darkest secret, so there was no reason to put an act around him or his guard up. With Duncan, he felt free to be himself.</p><p>He didn't say anything. His smile spoke volumes in itself, and instead he finished his slice of pizza and tried to pay attention to the movie rather than the warmth radiating off his body that made him hyperaware of how precariously close they were.</p><p>Duncan slowly finished his pizza, nestled under Sonny's arm. He was relaxed now. He never knew when a vision would hit, but usually when he was relaxed, things would be okay. He was confident that he would be given a reprieve for now. And with how comfortable Sonny made him, a headache would be the farthest thing that could keep him away. So they watched the movie, and without even thinking about it much, Duncan ended up resting his head on Sonny's chest, his arm draped over his middle. </p><p>They lay there while they watched. After a while Duncan's hand was intwined with Sonny's. There was something oddly domestic about the whole thing. Something that he wasn't used to. Maybe they were overthinking things? Maybe they were perfectly safe to touch each other? It wasn't like Duncan had much a choice in the matter if he got a vision or not anyway. But before long the movie was over. Duncan's head still lay on Sonny's chest while the credits started. </p><p>He looked up at him, a look of curiosity on his face as well as a sweet smile that he wasn't used to showing people.</p><p>"Tell me about your life? Before... you know... you were a ghost?"</p><p>It always in the back of his mind that, at any given moment, the flashes of Carlos holding that gun to his face would come flooding back, and he'd feel that bullet tunneling into his skull to come out the other side, but he was willing to experience a few seconds of terror just to hold Duncan close and feel him relax against his body as he nuzzled him.</p><p>Sonny couldn't remember the last time he had been so affectionate with someone on such a spiritual level. He didn't even have that raw connection with Carlos. Maybe the fact he had to be careful with Duncan deepened their fast-growing bond. They were forced to get to know each other rather than make everything based solely on sex.</p><p>The credits rolled and Sonny was about to ask if he wanted to watch another movie, but then Duncan asked a question that he usually blatantly lied about. There were some secrets he wasn't ready to tell yet, not because he didn't trust Duncan, but he was ashamed of his past. But the words came out so freely, like word vomit.</p><p>"I was part of a gang called Red Wings. My pops was the leader, but he got pinned by the feds. My motha got popped, an' Pops made a lotta bad people pay, an' a lotta good people, too. Had to take point while he was in the slammer, an' I ain't gonna lie, I did a lotta things I ain't proud of, but I hadta. Couldn't have my crew questioning my loyalties an' alla that." </p><p>His dark eyebrows stitched together, stunned by his own complete confession, the only other secret he'd been keeping from Duncan because he thought he might judge him cruelly for it, and he had every right to. He wasn't a good man in his days, but it was a different time then. Grease might have been one of his favorite musicals because he could appreciate the costume designs and songs that made you want to sing along, but it was nothing like how the 50s really were.</p><p>"I... dunno why I told ya that. An' look, I can get with it if it makes ya nervous to be around me, but I ain't that kid anymore. I'm not a saint, but I ain't hustlin' like I was," he explained, nervously awaiting for Duncan's reaction. </p><p>Duncan listened curiously, noting the little things like the name of the gang and Sonny's admittance to doing bad things. Sonny probably thought that would scare him, but if anything it put him even more at ease. Someone that understood that humanity was complicated. That people weren't all black and white, and all humans were capable of terrible things.</p><p>"It don't make me nervous, no." Duncan said truthfully. He laid his head back on his chest, feeling like he should give him a little more of himself as well. Maybe he wasn't ready for the full extent, not ready to tell him about the blackouts or the blood drinking... but he deserved at least a little nugget more of information about the things that Duncan kept so walled up inside.</p><p>"I... haven't been totally honest about everything either." He admitted with a deep breath.</p><p>"My visions aren't just some gift..." He said, chewing on his lower lip as he nervously drew circles on Sonny's chest with his fingertips. </p><p>"You might think I'm crazy. But like... also remember you're dead so anything's possible but..." He winced. He couldn't believe it. This was the first time he was gonna say this out loud to anyone since before he was put in the psyche ward.</p><p>"My dad is... not a human. He's not even... on earth. He's a demon. A god I think. And I get the visions because..." Because he wants me to destroy the earth... No, he wasn't ready for that yet.</p><p>"I get them because of my connection with him. When I said I saw him when I died for half a second, I was in his personal hell." He said, slowly pulling away and pulling the covers up over his half naked body.</p><p>"I know that sounds crazy. It's part of why I was institutionalized. But... it's true." He winced again, pulling his knees to his chin.</p><p>"You don't have to believe me. Trust me, I know how insane it sounds. But... I can't talk about it because I just... don't want to go back to that hospital again. I don't want to be treated like less than a person no more."</p><p>Now it was Duncan's turn to dump his baggage on him, and he responded just the same, listening intently, never once shooting him a look of skepticism or judgement. It was a crazy story, yeah, but no crazier than a ghost falling for a boy he thought was a bonafide psychic.</p><p>When Sonny felt him withdraw, most likely out of fear of rejection, he demanded his return by crawling under the covers with him and embracing him like a child.</p><p>"Guess we both got fathas we're not exactly proud of, eh?" Sonny mused, offering him an understanding smile.</p><p>He relaxed beneath the blanket, staring up at the ceiling in deep thought. "So does that make ya a demon, too? Like half demon cause your Pops an' all? Not that I'm judgin' but every bible thumper ever, an' Pastor Cromley included is always preachin' how ya'll are evil incarnate an' gonna bring about the apocalypse." </p><p>Duncan was surprised by his response. Sonny pulled him back toward him, cuddled back under the covers. Duncan wasn't used to that. This was usually the part where the person would call him crazy and then make fun of him or ask him to leave. The fact that he didn't was a relief.</p><p>"I... y-yeah. But at least you don't have your father sending violent visions to your head every other day. Pretty sure it's his way of trying to manipulate me." He sighed, laying against him once more. Duncan chewed his lip and thought about his response. He was never really sure what the proper answer to that was.</p><p>"I... maybe? I mean... I'm mostly human. I eat, I sleep, I bleed. But every now and then... he gets to be too much. I black out and... I forget things. Sometimes I worry that I've... hurt people. Because of the things he made me do. I don't want to, I don't mean to. I just... don't remember." He said, tearing up a little. He turned and looked up at Sonny with impassioned eyes, hoping he would be understanding.</p><p>"...d-don't tell anyone. Please. They already don't believe me. I don't need the people in this town thinking I'm a demon on top of everything else. Even if maybe I am."</p><p>"S'alright," Sonny assured him in a understanding voice, his hand sliding from the delicate hollow of his neck and ending its journey on his cheek. He knew he couldn't keep touching him like this forever, not without consequences, but he was grateful that whatever triggered their ailments was put on hold for now, long enough to lend him some comfort for sharing his story with him that probably warranted a different reaction from others.</p><p>"I remember the way ya looked at me yesterday when I had my seizure an' I was foamin' at the mouth. Ya barely know me, but I can tell ya cared about what was goin' on with me. Most get spooked. If ya say your pops got ya doin' bad things that you don't wanna, I believe ya," he said, dispatching a stray tear from his cheek with a stroke of his thumb. He had seen people genuinely love the trouble they caused, people who got off on hurting others, and he couldn't imagine Duncan being like that.</p><p>"I ain't gonna rat on ya. S'like ya told me when I thought you woulda squawked, no one would believe me anyway," he told him.</p><p>"Can't imagine what that's like, though, havin' some demon tryin' pull your strings alla the time, or whateva his shtick is."</p><p>"I was... concerned. I knew that look. I knew the pain. Besides even if it was just a legit seizure... that's still scary, right?" Duncan nodded. He was numb most of the time with most people. He didn't get genuinely affected seeing just anybody in pain, though he did have a small twinge of empathy run through him regardless. Maybe that was why his trigger finger wasn't so itchy when it came to hurting humans? Deer yes. But he surmised those bastards deserved it for blindly leaping in front of cars. But he still had yet to want or need to hurt a human. </p><p>"Thank you." He said with a smile. He leaned over and gave another very brief kiss, knowing eventually their number would be up and he'd get a searing hot poker through the eye but not really caring.</p><p>"It's... not fun. I've gotten better at ignoring him. But I can't forever..." He said with a sad look on his face.</p><p>"One of these days he will kill me for not doing the terrible things he wants me to do. And I won't get to be a charming ghost walking the earth like you. I'll be banished to his void. Just darkness for all eternity. It's... not an afterlife I look forward to."</p><p>"Yeah, but what I'm sayin' is, the guys I use to roll with woulda either had a giggle at me or left me there like a coward." Thugs weren't all that sympathetic, and if Duncan was worried he might have any of his father's malicious intent, he probably wouldn't have even batted an eyelash at his traumatic episode.</p><p>The kiss was brief, and he knew at any given moment it wouldn't be a gift but rather a curse, and they would be forced to hurdle back into their corners and keep their hands to themselves, but for the time being, he took comfort in the warm caress of his lips that he could never take for granted.</p><p>"Sgotta be somethin' we could do. Crosses, three Hail Marys, an exorcism? Shit, I dunno." Sonny just hated the idea of Duncan being trapped in a black void for all eternity. It made his own situation seem like a walk in the park in comparison.</p><p>Out of impulse, he reached for his stash of cigarettes in the pocket of his jacket, putting one into his mouth and offering Duncan one if he wanted to join him. He just found smoking therapeutic.</p><p>Duncan gave a weak but genuine smile to Sonny when he suggested trying to find a way to exorcise him. He'd never really thought about it before. He supposed there was some sort of demonic nature about Azathoth. But technically he was created by him. He was his father. Did that mean he could ever be free of him? Of his voice? His presence? He closed his eyes, trying to sense his connection with his father. What he found was a rare moment he wasn't looking. Just a light buzz and nothing else. It was a nice, rare moment of silence. </p><p>He took a cigarette from Sonny and let him light it up. After an initial puff, he grinned.</p><p>"I uh... I don't think he's listenin' right now. I have less visions when that happens..." He said, sucking in some smoke and puffing it out in slow, sensual rolls. Sonny could take that as he wanted, it was just nice to have a moment of privacy for once. </p><p>After lighting his own cigarette, he leaned in to extend Duncan the same favor before taking a long, much needed drag, contemplating more on their dilemma. He thought his (dead) life was complicated enough, but Duncan had it so much worse than him.</p><p>When Duncan blew a billow of smoke in his direction, he playfully opened his mouth and snapped his teeth like a shark with a grin, so dangerously close to his face, he could feel the breeze of his warm breath hit him.</p><p>"S'what ya sayin' is, he ain't gonna try to cockblock us if we get a lil freaky with each other?" Sonny said on a grin, practically crawling into Duncan's lap, but he regretted his words as soon as they spilled from his cold, dead lips.</p><p>Fuck, he really was corny sometimes.</p><p>Sonny awkwardly withdrew back to his side of the bed, and though he was perpetually pale, there somehow was a hint of red seeping through his cheeks to mark his embarrassment.</p><p>"Sorry, that was cheesy. Even for me."</p><p>Duncan raised an eyebrow as Sonny drew close, spouting a bunch of silly nonsense that he supposed was supposed to be sexy. But he just snorted and couldn't help but break into laughter.</p><p>"Oh god, you really haven't picked up any game in the 60 years you been dead, haven'tcha?" Duncan teased a bit. He saw the redness on Sonny's face and offered an amused pout. If they hadn't already established such a chemistry and a rapport with one another, that probably would have been a hard pass, but regardless he still enjoyed Sonny's company. So he scooted over next to him and laid his head in his lap, looking up at him almost innocently with his cigarette dangling from his lip before removing it for another exhale.</p><p>"That's actually exactly what I'm saying. Dork." He smirked, reaching up and booping his nose with his forefinger.</p><p>"S'been a while since I needed game," Sonny admitted, unable to stop laughing at himself because even he knew he wasn't as smooth as he pretended to be. He might sound like he knew every trick in the book, but you know the old saying: you can't teach an old dog new tricks.</p><p>When Duncan's head fell into his lap, he couldn't help but smile sheepishly at him. He never thought someone he barely knew could make him feel so comfortable. It was like they'd known each other for years. Maybe in another life.</p><p>"Since your Pops is in a charitable mood in leavin' ya be, can ya tell him to cure my PTSD, too? I wanna claim ya, but might not be as fun of an experience if I have another episode."</p><p>Duncan remained laying in his lap, puffing on the cigarette while he gazed up at Sonny. He offered a pursed lipped smile and a shrug at his suggestion.</p><p>"I dunno. That would require tryna reach out to him which is not something I like doin'. Also he's kind of a dick so I doubt he'd help." He said with a slight huff. Still, he grabbed Sonny's hand and held onto it while he lay there and smoke, looking up at him through little puffs of smoke. </p><p>"Does this happen with everyone ya fool around with or am I just special in that department? My momma always said I gave her headaches." He said with an almost sad half smile. His mother was always kind of a sore subject. And now he almost wondered if that were literally true. He'd always been the son of Azathoth, he just wasn't fully aware of it until he was a young teenager. Maybe he prematurely fucked with her head without realizing it? Maybe her prison sentence was all his fault after all? He had to try harder not to think about these things.</p><p>"Fathas, amirite? Always good for nuffin'." All shades of amusement reaching his face. He loved his dad, but he wished he cared more about family than his loyalty to his gang. Maybe if he had, he wouldn't have ended up in prison on death row, and his mom would have lived a full life.</p><p>When Duncan reached for his free hand, he instinctively massaged his palm with the pad of his thumb, his other hand bringing his cigarette to his lips once more to indulge in another cancerous puff.</p><p>Sonny shrugged. "Sometimes. Kinda a hit an' miss like with youse. Usually just sex is a gamble. You're the first boy I can't even risk snoggin' with, so I guess ya are kinda special," he explained, casually smiling down at him and blowing smoke in his face.</p><p>"Or maybe s'a coincidence, an' we just overthinkin' it an' all."</p><p>Duncan took another puff then stared at his cigarette. </p><p>"I'd be a terrible father. Too many issues. I'd make my kid paranoid as fuck." He shrugged. Kids were never a thing he really thought about. He supposed it would be selfish to bring a child into the world if he knew he was supposed to try to end it. He didn't need to add murdering his own child to the list of horrible things that came with that. </p><p>After Sonny's little explanation, he sat up, facing him, though he still held onto his hand.</p><p>"Maybe it's a trust thing? Maybe if we... get to a point where we fully trust the other, you won't be thinkin' bout your trauma an' I won't pick up on the psychic vibes an' we can just... chill." He nodded, kissing his hand.</p><p>"Until then... Despite the headaches that... aren't fun, the danger is a little bit excitin'." He smiled, dangling the cigarette between his lips while rubbing his hand on both sides with his own.</p><p>Sonny didn't know if he would make a good father. He supposed he physically couldn't; something told him a ghost's seed was as worthless as dust.</p><p>When Duncan had risen from the comfort of his lap, he met his bright gaze, completely charmed by the way he kissed his hand as his proposal was his way of courting him. It made sense. Carlos sort of ruined romance for him, and he had trouble completely trusting someone on an intimate level after that, but he liked to think if there was someone who could possibly break through that heavy duty wall he built up, it was Duncan.</p><p>"Yeah, an' if it don't pan out, we always got the gloves an' a crafty imagination to boot," Sonny added, smiling around the cigarette that was dangling from his mouth.</p><p>"Yunno me. I'm an ex gangsta. Danger's my middle name, baby," he mused, releasing his hand only to all but climb into his lap, flanking his hips with his knees. Wordlessly, he stole the cigarette Duncan wasn't nearly finished with yet and laid it in the ashtray on his nightstand, then he took another drag from his own cigarette, letting his lungs fill up with smoke before capturing Duncan's face between his hands and sensually exhaling into his open mouth that eventually turned into a slow, steamy kiss.</p><p>Duncan smiled as he puffed on his cigarette, giving a little nod to Sonny in agreement. Hell, if nothing worked out then he found a new kink he enjoyed. That was exciting.</p><p>But then Sonny straddled his lap, stealing his cigarette and replacing his lips with his own as he blew smoke into his mouth. As they kissed, the smoke billowed out from their noses and the sliding mismatched grooves of their lips. He pulled his lips away only for a moment, but his hands never left his back, as he stared into his eyes with longing.</p><p>"Are you... are we... are you sure?" He asked, stealing little kisses between each word. He knew he probably had a solid while before his father crept in and started freaking out his brain again. They should steal the little moments when they got them.</p><p>The brush of his hand over his back had Sonny relaxing into it, relishing the rare moment of contact, and he gave a hard, shuddering exhale as if he actually needed the air that held no value to his cold, dead lungs. There was no denying Duncan took his breath away, making him feel alive again. Born anew.</p><p>There was a longing there, and his eyes drifted between Duncan's lips and his eyes that were as captivating as a sunrise. When he asked if he was sure, he gave a small shake of his head because he really wasn't, but his smile remained ever so present and confident all the same. "No, but a wiseguy once told me, sometimes the risk is worth the reward," he breathed against his lips before claiming them again, and though his hands were already making quick work of his zipper, he rasped against his mouth.</p><p>"Are you sure? Can always quit while we're ahead, yunno." It was obvious neither one of them were going to be backing down anytime soon until they were forced to.</p><p>"Youse a top or a bottom? Cause I ain't picky." They never fully established that rule the first time, but Duncan didn't necessarily give him the opportunity to when he all but dragged him in his stockroom and took him from behind. Not that he minded.</p><p>Duncan felt so much emotion surge through him that he wasn't quite sure what he was feeling. He was shivering and tearing up and smiling at the same time. He touched his forehead to Sonny's and nodded as well.</p><p>"No... I'm not. But that guy... sounds kinda smart..." He said, kissing him back heatedly, helping him out of his pants. He never put his own back on so all he had to do was remove the blanket. Soon their naked bodies were touching as he continued to be unable to pull away from his lips. </p><p>At the question he hesitated for a moment. He hadn't bottomed since...</p><p>"I... t-top. I don't... I can do the other but... I need to... I'll tell you some other time..." He bit his lip, hoping that didn't scare him off.</p><p>"No going back now?" He said, kissing him again and pulling him onto his lap.</p><p>"But I'd risk it for this."</p><p>Sonny was fumbling out of his pants with the help of Duncan's cooperation, and it was like he couldn't get out of his jeans quick enough. He'd have kept them off if he hadn't needed to make himself decent to answer the door for the pizza boy, and now that they were naked skin on naked skin, he was savoring the moment, and he wasn't opening that door for no one.</p><p>Duncan's lips were like the only thing giving him purpose, or so it presented itself in that way, what with how he couldn't seem to break away from his mouth for even a nanosecond, only choosing to long enough to answer him in a breathy whisper.</p><p>Sonny honestly didn't care who topped who, so long as they were touching each other, giving themselves to one another. He couldn't feel the sting of that bite to his lip, but he felt the pressure of his blunt teeth and could tell the difference in that way, and it made him want to return the favor, so he responded in kind, nipping at his bottom lip between needy kisses.</p><p>"Ya can bite harder if ya want. I can't really feel pain the way ya can," he explained, passing his fingers through his short red hair.</p><p>"So ya can be as rough as ya wanna be. Maybe it'll keep Big Daddy away if he's gettin' his daily dose of violence."</p><p>Duncan knew that time was of the essence. It's what made his kisses sloppier, needier. Its what made each action so hurried, and yet so tender at the same time. He wanted to savor each moment, but he knew if they didn't act quick it could all end. He could be given a painful vision once more, killing his mood and ruining the moment. He didn't want to waste any of it. He needed to do this now. </p><p>"I don't know if you realize what you're asking for." Duncan purred a bit against his lips, biting down on his lower lip just a little harder and tugging it a bit as he looked into his eyes with a flirtatious glint. He knocked him on his back, kissing all along his neck and chest, each time he came back for his lips meeting him with hot rigid breaths there. He brought his fingers up to Sonny's mouth and teased them around the rim before sliding two digits inside, letting him lubricate them with his saliva. Then he slowly trailed them downward, leaving a wet streak along his body on the way. Once they reached their destination, he touched noses with him, hovering his lips against his own before slowly pushing inside.</p><p>"Are you okay?" He asked in a polite whisper as he pressed his fingers inside of him, peppering the sweetest of little kisses against his lips as he did so. They might have little time, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to try to make this as perfect as he could.</p><p>"Then why don't cha show me?" Sonny purred devilishly against his parted lips, smirking as though he knew some kind of secret that he wasn't keen on telling him, when in reality he had no clue what damage Duncan could cause. Or maybe he did because, soon, he was on his back, and for a heart-galloping moment he thought he was about to eat his own words, but then Duncan peppered him with sweet, needy kisses that journeyed from the column of his throat to the lean muscles of his chest, and then backtracked to his own mouth that were quick to greet him home.</p><p>"Oh, yeah, this is toooorture. Worse than death," Sonny joked with a telling smile. When Duncan pushed his fingers into his mouth, he moistened them earnestly, sucking them so sensually, it was almost perverse.</p><p>When his hand drifted between the two of them to enter him, Sonny gasped, his hips instinctively bucking against his fingers, leaving him a writhing, panting mess of emotions.</p><p>Maybe Duncan should have hurried things along, because before he knew what hit him, he was back in the 1960s again in his old room, but when he looked up, it wasn't Carlos pointing the gun at him, it was Duncan. His dark green gaze angrily staring down at him before he pulled the trigger.</p><p>Sonny had another seizure in the meantime. Duncan would be able to tell the difference between whether he was just squirming out of lust or sheer terror because Sonny was foaming at the mouth again, his eyes rolling in the back of his head. His nerve endings were screaming for an escape, and he instinctively pushed Duncan off him, sobbing as he curled into a ball.</p><p>Fuck, he hated this. The one guy he actually liked in so long, and he could barely touch him without reliving his worst nightmare. He couldn't speak, not yet. Right now, he just needed aftercare from Duncan, because the flashbacks were always traumatic. Either that, or to be left alone, until he could shake this terrible feeling eating him up inside. </p><p>"It w-w-was you this time. Y-you killed me," he finally said, curling up like a baby as tears rolled down his petrified face. </p><p>Duncan just watched Sonny's face in awe, sometimes leaning down and kissing his jaw while he loosened him, preparing him for his girth. He wanted it to be good this time. He wanted to make Sonny feel good, because even if they got further in the stockroom, it was still hard and desperate and there was no feeling involved. Duncan had feelings this time. </p><p>So he watched, caressing his hair and taking in the beauty of his face as he prepared himself to enter him. But as he watched, his shakes turned violent, and his mouth began to foam again. Duncan gasped and rolled off of him, his own feelings starting to turn to mush as he panicked, tearing up once more.</p><p>"Oh fuck fuck I... FUCK I'm so sorry. Fuck I did this I... I knew better I knew better I knew..." He babbled a bit. He moved over to check on Sonny, who had sat up at this point, upset and crying. Duncan was also crying. Both were crying and upset and in a completely different place than they were thirty seconds ago.</p><p>But after a moment he sucked it up and sat next to him, hesitating to reach out, but pulling back and flinching because he didn't want to touch him and send him into another seizing episode.</p><p>And then he said it. You killed me. It hit a trigger inside of him. He shrunk into his shoulders, instinctively moving away.</p><p>"I... I didn't I..." He shook his head, face streaming with hot tears at this point.</p><p>"N-N-No my dad wants me to be that but I'm not I AM NOT I... I'mnotakillerI'mnot..." He started having his own panic attack.</p><p>After a moment of an unblinking look of panic on his face, he stood and pulled on his pants.</p><p>"I have to... I have to.... Ihavetogo..." He said, shaking like a wet dog as he packed his stuff into his bag.</p><p>Sonny was in complete shock. There was no point in Duncan comforting him because he just sat there like a statue, sniffling and crying, trying to find an answer he was desperately searching for amidst the rubble of his shattered memories. Was it Duncan all along? Did Carlos never exist? Maybe after decades of living as a ghost, he'd forgotten the sordid details of his past. It was terribly confusing.</p><p>But once he was convinced the source of all his problems was Duncan, his stare turned icy cold, and they might as well have been daggers with how sharp they were. "You killed me," he repeated like some mantra as Duncan was packing up his belongings.</p><p>Duncan was so close that he was within arm's reach of him, and his hand darted to grab his wrist, his jaw tightening with new anger. Sonny was seeing red. "You killed me! How could ya fuckin' do that? I fuckin' loved you!" Sonny screamed at him through heavy tears.</p><p>Duncan would have comforted him. He truly truly would have. But hearing that he was a killer when he was trying so hard to ignore those carnal cravings from his dad... it sent him over the edge. But he still cared for him, he just... wasn't mentally right for this right now.</p><p>Then Sonny changed. His gaze darkened. He accused him of killing him. Outright. He grabbed his wrist and tugged on it, screaming at him. </p><p>"I DID NOT! I'M NOT A KILLER!" He screamed, pulling his arm back.</p><p>"LET GO OF ME!" Suddenly Duncan's voice was a roar. His eyes blackened, pupils separated and multiplied, and a telekinetic blast burst out from him, shattering Sonny's window but not causing him any physical damage. He was lucky Duncan was able to curb it, gain just enough control not to hurt him. He shook and his eyes faded back to normal. He looked around in a panic, wanting nothing more than to get away from this situation. From this ruined day. He was crying now, hot violent tears down his face.</p><p>"I'm NOT a killer!" He shouted, yanking on the door handle to get away, but the handle popped off. The door was jammed from the blast.</p><p>"FUUUUCK!" He shouted, moving to the corner of the trailer and slinking down the wall, sobbing to himself.</p><p>"YOU ARE A KILLER!" Sonny argued back through clenched teeth, invading his personal space.</p><p>When he saw his green eyes flood to inky black that, even for a ghost, was unsettling, he grew silent. If Duncan hadn't already explained his dilemma with his father, he might have booked it out that door in that instant, but he remained calm, save for his stunned expression. He knew these were the demon's actions, not Duncan's, and neither of them could truly hurt him anyway when he was already dead, right?</p><p>While Duncan jimmied to get the door open, only to snap the handle from its place, Sonny had a flash, a moment of clarity. He remembered everything from that horrid night that robbed him of his future, of his life, and it wasn't Duncan's face that was inches from his own but Carlos. He had just wrongfully accused Duncan for a crime he didn't commit, couldn't possibly because he wasn't even born yet when that happened.</p><p>"Shit, I'm s-sorry." Sonny bursted into tears, kneeling in front of him to reach out and apologize, but his hand recoiled away from his face at the last possible second, when he remembered he couldn't physically comfort him, especially under these circumstances.</p><p>"S'my fault. I got it all mixed up. My head ain't screwed on right sometimes, an' I get the pieces all wrong." Fuck, he hated that he snapped at Duncan like that. Tonight was almost perfect, and he ruined it by jumping to conclusions. He was shaken up, but not for the reasons Duncan might think.</p><p>Duncan just curled up in the corner, crying and rocking back and forth, clutching the broken door handle. He just kept repeating to himself "I'MNOTAKILLERI'MNOTAKILLER" over and over again, while visions of the premonition he had not a week ago at the grocery store of him doing just that --killing-- played over and over in his head. He shuddered, unable to really look at Sonny for a brief moment. But then he heard Sonny kneel too, crying with him. Apologizing.</p><p>Duncan squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. Maybe they both were too damaged for this to work at all? </p><p>"I... didn't want you to see that. S-s-sometimes he just comes out. Takes over. To protect me. But not because h-he cares. Because I'm just a fucking tool to him." He shook for a moment, trying to find his bearings. After another few breaths, he stopped shaking as much and wiped his eyes, looking around at the trailer. It was mostly fine. 'Cept for the shattered window and broken door handle, and the cluttered mess on the floor from when he'd had his demonic outburst. He looked down and shrunk into himself again.</p><p>"I'm... sorry about your place." He said meekly.</p><p>"I... guess we're stuck in here for a bit. Unless you have a way getting it open?" He said, holding the handle back up. </p><p>"He sounds like a real piece of work. Dunno how ya put up with him," he joked, a easy smile spreading across his lips but there was no real mirth to it; he was just trying to lighten the mood, albeit he was still horrified by how he almost retaliated with violence. If he hadn't remembered who was to blame here, he might have beaten up Duncan to a bloody pulp, like he had in the past with boys who had gotten a little too close for comfort to him.</p><p>Those impossibly bright eyes, that were even brighter now that they were glossed with tears, scanned the wreckage of his trailer. He would need to replace his window and fix the door, but he had connections that would cut the costs in half.</p><p>"S'no big deal." Sonny shrugged. "I shouldn't've snapped at ya like that."</p><p>"Can always try jumpin' through the window, less ya wanna use Big Daddy's freakish strength to kick in the door?" Sonny was only half joking, of course. There was no point giving Duncan's dad an inch when he'd probably take a mile and then some.</p><p>"But... I kinda want ya to stay, which I know is askin' for trouble after the goop we just made." In truth, Sonny didn't want to be alone tonight. Duncan had his grandmother, but Sonny ultimately had no one. No one alive anyway.</p><p>Duncan held his knees close to his chest, tossing the handle on the floor as he avoided Sonny's gaze. He was both embarrassed for the display he'd made and afraid of hurting anyone else. And the thing that happened with him didn't help. Sure it was both of their collective trauma colliding into a nuclear blast of badness, but he couldn't help but still feel upset about it. </p><p>"Do what you feel is necessary..." He said, retracting into his monotone again, unable to properly react to a joke at this point. He just felt so... numb at this point.</p><p>Yet Sonny still asked him to stay. He pursed his lips and looked at him, in both confusion and internally conflicting within himself at the same time.</p><p>"I... I'd like to. But this will just happen again. I held back this time. But... I don't want to be a killer." He shook his head, holding his legs close to him.</p><p>"Maybe I can't kill you. But I'm positive he can find a way to hurt you. And when I get set off, who knows if I can come back at all?" He admitted one of his deepest fears in the moment. </p><p>"If I stay I'd just want to kiss you. If I kiss you, we start the cycle over again. It's just... shitty and hopeless." He couldn't help but feel a little anger bubbling inside. He wasn't sure if it was his father or the world he was mad at more, but either or it was affecting him quite greatly.</p><p>Sonny was afraid, too, but for other reasons. He thought he outgrew his violent nature, the riled up thug in him that had a history of being temperamental, but apparently he hadn't. Sonny couldn't be hurt by conventional means, but Duncan could, and he would have never forgiven himself if he lost control and ended up putting him in the hospital for overreacting.</p><p>Maybe he was right. This was shitty and hopeless.</p><p>He nodded sympathetically. "Grab your things, an' I'll help ya through the window. Just be careful not to nick yourself. There's glass everywhere." He glanced down, realizing he was still naked as a baby bird.</p><p>"Lemme, uh, get decent first."</p><p>When he was dressed, he grabbed his leather gloves off the table and slipped them back on so he wouldn't risk touching Duncan again and he can assist him through the broken window.</p><p>Duncan nodded, somehow ashamed of everything that happened. He thought he'd found a shred of normalcy, even if it was in the abnormal. In someone who was just as much a freak as he was. But somehow it only escalated things. Their traumas bounced off of each other. It just hurt him. Hurt his heart and made him feel like he'd never be normal.</p><p>Fuck it. Maybe father was right? His mother was a wreck. The town thought he was a freak. And the first possibility he'd had at romance, real romance, just ended terribly.</p><p>The world should burn. If it wasn't for him, why should anyone else deserve it?</p><p>No. Those were Azathoth's thought, not his. Were they not?</p><p>He dressed the rest of the way, pulling on his shirt and slinging the bag from his shoulder. Then he finally looked up at Sonny, his face blank once again. Hide your emotions. Don't let him see.</p><p>Still. A whisper slipped out.</p><p>"...I'm sorry..."</p><p>Sonny was bummed, too. He hadn't caught feelings like this for a boy in decades, and it was like some kind of sick joke from the universe or a whatever higher power was responsible for the suffering of others that they couldn't possibly be together romantically. If he ever met God, he was going to punch him square in his biblical face for constantly ruining his life.</p><p>Duncan's voice was barely above a whisper, and if he wasn't standing right next to him, he might have not caught it, but when he overheard him, he reached out to caress his cheek. He was safe to touch him, so long as that glove kept them a skin apart.</p><p>"Don't cha be. S'not like any of this was ya fault. I freaked first and spooked ya," he reassured him with a gentle nod.</p><p>"I'd kiss ya goodbye but... yunno." Sonny swept his clothed thumb across his bottom lip, as if he was making up for the kiss they couldn't share in that way. He leaned in as if he was about to kiss him, only to pull away when they were close to sealing the deal</p><p>"Ya should get goin'." He extended his hand to help him squeeze through the broken window and safely make it on the other side.</p><p>"Don't be a stranger, Red. Ya still have my number if ya need anyone to spill ya guts to."</p>
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